(titles are stupid....)

Seriously...this may be the best picture of me recently.

I don't know...my face hates cameras.

What you can't see is my head of curly hair. I turn 31 and all of the hair on my head becomes curly. I'm completely perplexed. I literally had to buy all new hair products to deal with my longer curly hair.
I had to buy a hair iron for heavens sakes!!!

Nothing else new to report. I work all week, drink on Saturday's, and play Mass Effect obsessively in between. Its hard to pull my self away to get any knitting done.
I'm on my second play through of the game and I'm not sick of it yet.
Now if I could only find a way to make money obsessively playing a video game over and over again.

I've also been out shooting with Aaron a lot. Shooting pictures that is.
We've become mildly obsessed with a lovely stretch of roadway near our apartment. West River Drive (yes...I know its now MLK blvd or whatever it is they named it....but I will call it West River Drive until I die!!!) is scenic but far less crowded then its sister road Kelly Drive. The walk way winds next to the river and there's very few people on it. It even has two feirce patrol geese! The meanest and nastiest geese I've ever met. They hissed at us, ran after me, and hissed even as we drove out of the parking lot.

I should have a flurry of knitted items finished shortly. Perhaps some pictures. If I can pull myself away from my dreamy space fantasy that is.

I married the best boy ever two years ago today.

He will always be my Valentine!

Forever, and ever, and ever!

WTF???

What the hell just happened???

The Patriots were supposed to win...they were supposed to wipe the field with the Giants.

WTF???? Giants won...what?

I can't watch football anymore...it makes me too mad.

(and yeah...I know since I'm from NJ I should be a Giants fan, which I kind of am, but I really do love the Patriots....and an undefeated season would have been awesome)

I'm so frustrated...I need to go stare at the wall for a bit.

Are those pictures on the horizon?

I FINALLY have a camera.

Finally.

One of my very own.

The most adorable little digital camera. It lives in my purse. I take random pictures of buildings on a daily basis.

I'm not the kind of person who takes pictures of people. I'm more of a things, stuff, and buildings kind of gal.

I have it named it yet. It still hasn't had a name jump out at me.

But what does all of this have to do with my blog and you...my...well...one reader?

PICTURES!!!!
I will not have a naked blog any longer!!!!

....now if only I would actually finish a project or two..

Heath Ledger...so sad.

Seriously depressing.
He was such a good actor and he had such a young daughter.
Definitely some of the saddest hollywood news I've heard recently.

RIP Heath Ledger.

Seriously...it is not January

Its been warm, like spring warm. I would like to enjoy it, but its doing quite the number on my lungs. As I've posted about previously, I'm still sick as a dog. But I plan on spacing out all weekend so hopefully my poor little lungs and nose will heal during this mindless time.

The only thing that has cheered me up is:
- new yarn. New lace yarn. The kind of lace yarn that makes me daydream at work of all the things I'd like to make with it
- new patterns, for new lace yarn
- The speed I've seem to built up when it comes to knitting lace shawls. I can make a shoulder shawl in a week, at about an hour or two a night. So if I had nothing else to do I could probably make one in a day, if that's all I did and I wasn't horribly ill. Maybe making shawls on the side to sell isn't as insane of an idea as I thought it was.
- Flight of the Conchords.
- my sense of smell and taste is kind of back. I can taste strong flavors and I can smell strong smells. I'm looking forward to the day when even the tiniest scent can be noticed again
- Franklin Fountain...my favorite historical ice cream shop...is now open all year long. Last year they closed for winter....I'm glad I can stop in for hand made soda and a hot fudge Sundae any Saturday I choose.

Aa just bought a camera so picture coming soon!

Ugh.

I was healthy for about a week. I caught a cold last week, which has morphed into a sinus infection and hacking cough. I feel horrible. I blame 3 things: 1. public transportation 2. a really warm and dry work environment 3. Crazy up and down weather patterns.

Just sitting here typing feels like a big struggle, because its hard to stop coughing long enough to type.

Aa is looking into buying a nice, new camera so pictures may be coming soon.
I just finished a baby sweater but sadly gifted it before taking pictures.

Since I'm not up to conversing yet here's some bullet points of interest:

- I'm already in love with Parking Wars. Its follows the parking authority in Philadelphia. Every "fuck you" makes me beam with pride
- I'm in the teeny tiny stages of making my fiber dreams come true. I'm thinking of starting my own yarn based business. That's all I'm going to say for now, but I really am hoping that everything works out this year.
- I like buying yarn from Etsy more then any other place. Seriously. So many creative people out there. I will say it.....the web will be the LYS of the future.
- There's too many video games to play right now. What to choose....space alien RPG or weird puzzle game with a homicidal computer. So many choices....and all reviewed well. Too bad none of them will be as swoon inducing as Bioshock was.
- I'm looking forward to the superbowl. My pick: The Patriots, and that is not just because Tom Brady is cute (although I'm more of a Brett Favre kind of girl myself)

More soon. I'm getting tired just sitting up at this point so I need to go take medicine and lay down for a bit.

My life is nothing more then work and snot.

I go to sleep and dream of inputting orders and talking to customers about their mis-shipments. Seriously...its all I ever think about anymore.
My job normally consists of more interesting things but the title wave of web orders has made my life revolve around this one obsessive compulsive thing.

Sigh.

And my head is so tightly packed full of snot and mucus that I'm amazed I can have any thoughts at all. I have a horrendous cold. I guess working non-stop has made my lousy immune system more lousy then normal and I've picked up the crappy cold everyone else has had.

I'm going to work tomorrow for a few hours.

Tomorrow is Saturday.

Stupid fucking holidays.

Wait.....what? Who? When? Wha?

I'm so tired.

The Christmas shopping season may sound completely awesome to most people, but it completely sucks for the few of us who actually have to sell things to the general population. Our web sales have already tripled, which means my work hours have already greatly increased.

Just this little bit of extracurricular computing at home seems to be too much.

Please excuse my absence. I'm only averaging about 11 hours at home any given day, and 6 hours of that is devoted to sleeping, I'd like to hang out with AA for at least a few hours a day, even if its in a barely conscious state.

I'm not dead....I just will kind of feel that way until January.

Time flies when you are not having fun

This fall has been horrendous. Simply a mess. Between moving and work, everything has been a giant headache filled blur.

Sorry I do apologize to anyone I have been out of touch with. We've been moved into our new place for about 3 weeks now and we are still living out of boxes and bags, that is exactly what our life has become. We are so busy we can't even put anything away. I actually bought new jeans and underwear because it was easier.
And it is only getting worse. We've lost two employees at work, during the start of our busiest time, so my 9 hour work day will most likely stretch into a 12 hour work day, and I will definitely be taking the stress home with me. I wish the paychecks were nice and plump too, then I wouldn't feel as bad about everything. I just hate feeling like I'm 2 weeks behind every single day. And now that we are horribly short staffed its only going to get worse.

My birthday was pitiful, I have a cold that will just not go away, and my stress level is through the roof. I'd go on vacation but I can barely afford a latte. I think a full nights sleep would be lovely...too bad our new neighbors are constantly fighting. Sigh.

Thanksgiving can't come soon enough. Free food and a night away from Philadelphia seems like the only thing I want right now.

I have one new skein of yarn...it was my one and only splurge because it matches my new coat, but our camera is dying so no new photos until the holidays. So...picture to come later!

If anyone sees a big bag of money laying around please send it my way...it would be much appreciated!

the hardest anniversary I have.

January 20, 1941 - October 25, 2005

My mom died two years ago today.

It feels like so much time has passed, like a whole lifetime, but it all feels so recent too.

I still cry most nights. I still can't look at her handwriting and I still start sobbing whenever I go into an AC Moore.

Its weird what memories I think about most. I'm always picturing her hands, and the silly face she would make at me or the short but sweet voicemails she would leave me.

I was a stronger person when she was here I'd like to continue to be, make her proud of me, but sometimes getting out of bed and dragging myself to work is all I can muster.

I miss her everyday....and I will forever.

I love you mom...and I always will.

I'm missing you.

Lake Shore Drive
by the Innocence Mission

Regret has gone down in my estimation now.
The old world had you smiling out,
putting your arms around.
I tell myself now
things I would have told to you,
the smallest plan, the greatest news.
The more days come, the more it's true.

Right now I've got to get back home,
in from the sad day out.
Missing you forever,
yes, I shout, yes I, yes I, yes I am.

It seems the right time
to let go of the steep incline
of this day and to know you're mine
forever and I will be fine.
In me will you shine,
shine, shine, will you shine.

I'm stepping through
the streams and fountains of the sad day out.
Missing you forever,
yes, I shout, yes I, yes I, yes I am.
Yes I, yes I, yes I am.



I miss my mom.

Practice makes perfect.

Maybe if I post regularly I'll get so into the habit I won't let it drop off for months anymore.

Too bad I have very little to say right now. I'm so full of conversations and loud noises all day at work that the last thing I want to do when I'm at home is be communicative. (well, I'm constantly talking to Aaron, but he doesn't count, he lives with me, proximity makes it easier to keep conversations going)

Lists have become my new best friends. And short bullet points are easier to read then full complete paragraphs.

I've finally been not so lazy about acquiring new cds. I work a few blocks from a record store but never bothered to walk over there. I blame the summer heat and lack of money. But I have finally started to fatten up my music collection. And..well..after listening to the same dozen albums on my Ipod for 6 months straight, it was time to listen to something else.

So....new albums I have recently picked up and have fallen head over heels in love with:
- Iron and Wine - The Shepard's Dog. Ok, this actually just came out, but I can't get enough of it. I want to play it non-stop in my head at all times. His voice...oh lord his voice.
- Sufjan Stevens - Michigan. I'm still confused as to why I didn't like him when I first heard him years ago. I had it in my head I didn't like it....but he sounds like every other band I listen to. I'm glad I've finally turned. His music is lovely.
- Hayden - Skyscraper National Park. I've wanted this album for ages but never seemed to order it. I've heard it before, but that doesn't make me love it any less.
- Denison Witmer - Are You a Dreamer. He's from Lancaster, PA. He knits...even going so far as to knit the entire cover of this album. He's friends with Innocence Mission and don Peris produced his album with Karen singing on a handful of the tracks. Its beautiful. Its quiet and lovely.
- Calexico - The black Light. Another one I've been meaning to get forever but never got around to. Mexicana/country/rock/indie/folk mix. Its hard to explain. I love them so.


We have 4 places to go look at tomorrow. I'm hoping we see something we would actually want to live in. I thought it would be much easier then it has been. Who knew so many houses could be so depressing.

Wish me luck!

Late September and its still feels like summer!

WTF?

90 degrees tomorrow.

Bah. I will never get to wear anything wooly at this rate!

Sorry for the loooonnnggg absence. Work has been hectic, the man and I are trying to find a house to move to, and I've been spending most of my free time knitting. I'm doing a sample for the most fabulous Shannon and I'm on a deadline. Well, a very vague loose deadline, which I'm actually trying to adhere to since i was very wishy washy and lazy about it at the beginning.

I've finished a shawl for myself, but no picture yet.

Hmm...why am I updating again? It seems like I have so little to say.
So here's a list of stuff I like, since lists are the new black:
- The Eagles..particularly Westbrook. That man is amazing
- Iron and Wine - The Shepard's Dog. I've been waiting forever for this album...and it was worth every agonizing minute. When I see him on Friday it will be magical!
- The 2007 World Series of Poker is finally on ESPN. Watching poker may be the lamest thing I do, but I love it!
- Halloween themed magazines. Particularly Make and Martha Stewart. I may not be having a big party or have a front yard to decorate, but a girl can dream.
- Tastykake Pumpkin Pie. Its the unofficial beginning of the autumn season
- Halo 3. Such a pretty game to look at, and it will keep AA out of my hair for a few days!
- Even though AA and I are mentally ready to move the hell away from Philly, financially we can't. But...it is nice to know that there are a few neighborhoods in Philly that let you forget that your still in...well...Philly.

Hopefully more substantial updates soon. Maybe once we have somewhere to actually live. All of our energy is in home hunting mode. And this heat...this heat is making me antisocial and grouchy....and since we've already taken out our air conditioners...multiply that crankiness by 100.

Seriously September....what the hell?

I hate how life always interupts my knitting..

I've been meaning to blog. I even have pictures of a recently completed baby sweater. I've had knittings things to talk about, summer photos and stories, and updates about my life in general.

But life, doing what it does, has kept me busy. Work has been kicking my ass repeatedly. And if that wasn't enough I've been having medical issues as of late. Nothing to get myself to paranoid over, but enough to keep me stressed out. I have to go for a bunch of tests. Its nothing that came from out of the blue, but its a lot of things that can be devastating if left unchecked.

My knitting vacation just doesn't seem to be helping. I've been so tired its hard to work on anything. I think my goal of two sweaters done this summer has been officially thrown off track. Although, baby sweaters count, right?

I'll update soon.

video game lust

I need to say something not knitting related:

The new Grand Theft Auto Trailer is seriously making me swoon.

I cannot get over how great their faux NYC looks! Holy god almighty! They even have Coney Island in there.

Sigh.

I think I need a cold shower now.
....and a Xbox 360..

I have always been and always will be a gamer. My love of the video game console and PC runs strong and deep. And If my house was on fire, and I had to save my PC with all my saved games on it or a sweater's worth of yarn......
I think you know where this is going...

My saved games will always win over a sweater in a fight to the death.

For realz.

I Hate Summer

Ok, that's a bit harsh. I strongly dislike summer. Summer and I are not on speaking terms.

Between the hot sun, bugs, and massive amounts of people everywhere there's not much to like. The only highlights are days off, longer amounts of sunlight, and air conditioning.

Some of my mental tasks to be completed before summer is over..

- knit two sweaters. I'm being wildly optimistic about this one. (remember, i knit on tiny needles on a regular basis..this could be quite the challenge)
- grow my hair to at least my shoulders. Not since high school has it been farther then my chin. But now that it is miraculously curly I look forward to having longer wavy locks.
- darken the freckles on my face
- visit the beach at least once
- go on at least three trips. It could be one day, it could be a weekend. Just get me the hell out of Philadelphia!
- re-arrange my bookshelves. (doesn't sound very exciting, but don't be fooled, i've put this off for at least 2 years now)
- read at least two books
- play at least two of the video games I have yet to play but have been sitting on for months/years.
- get my business off the ground

I'm sure there's more things on that list in my head, but i must be blocking things i really don't want to do.

Nothing is very spectacular, but i will be immensely happy if I get all of that accomplished over the next three months.

I really did have a much more detailed blog in the works in my head, but I've lost motivation, plus the radio at work keeps distracting me. I long for days of absolute quiet. Everything is so noisy in my life, even when nothing is running.

Summer is noisy....another annoyance of this time of year. Its the time of white noise and loud speaking people.

Blah. Where's a cold dark cave when you need one.

My Weekend was filled with blood and sun..

I bet the blood thing threw you off. It did the same thing to me, and I had to clean the mess up!
But let me back track a bit...

Friday: good pizza and ice cream cones from my favorite ice cream shop.

Saturday Day: Renegade Craft Fair in Brooklyn. Besides being completely over hipsters and their ilk, the day was fun. It was literally in an abandoned pool (AA didn't believe me even after I showed him a picture). This was kind of insane, being that it was 10 degrees hotter in the pool then outside of it. I can see why they work best filled with water. I bought the tastiest smelling lotion ever, two vinyl cuffs (with 2, maybe 3 more on the way..I love Miss Alison!!!), a tiny hair accessory and 2 lapel pins. I went with the always fabulous Marissa who is seriously awesome. I love supporting small companies so craft shows are my mecca. I only wish I had more money.

Saturday Night: Enter the blood. I met up with AA at our favorite bar. We had buckets of fun talking to everyone and drinking a few beers. Fastforward a few hours later. We are walking home, I'm a little buzzed, but far from falling down drunk. I'm walking past a bunch of restaurants that offer seating outside (on the freakin sidewalk to be exact. I won't even get into how infurating it make me when restaurants do this. They hog up the entire damn sidewalk...a public sidewalk no less, so pedestrians have to walk on the street. WTF is that??) I'm going from sidewalk to street. The next thing I know I'm laying in the street. I kind of vagulely remember bracing myself but I'm still perplexed as to how I fell or what I tripped on. I'm thinking the curb. This of course happens in front of an entire restaurant full of people. Everyone is staring, I think maybe one guy asked if I was ok (that's philly for ya). I jump up quickly, assure AA I'm fine and continue home. A few blocks later I notice my skirt feels wet. I don't remember a puddle being in the street so I check. Blood, blood and more blood. I seemed to have cut the hell out of my right knee, its bleeding profusely, and blood is just everwhere. Lucky for me I'm wearing a denim skirt that falls just below my knee. Its keeping blood from running down my leg. My left leg is scraped to hell but its not really bleeding. We continue on. AA is looking very worried and I am assuring him that I'm fine, checking to make sure that the blood is not running down my leg. I'm very worried about freaking out the general public.
Get home, clean myself up, (the most important thing ever is to ALWAYS have hydrogen peroxide, bandages, and triple antibiotic in your house at ALL TIMES) bandage my knee and go to bed.

Sunday: My knee and leg is alot more gnarly looking in the sun. My right knee is not just ripped to hell but its bruised too. My left leg is scraped up but not bleeding. Its very red though...which is insanely noticable on my very pale skin. I go pick up some more bandaids, peroxide, and antibiotic ointment and hed over to the bar our friend is bartending at. Yes...drinking trumps cleaning my wounds everytime! We have great conversations and eventually wander home in the heat and sun.

I'm annoyed that this seemed to happen just in time for a heatwave. I'm not embarassed by my giant gross scrapes and cuts, but they're a bit too gruesome to wear a skirt with. So I'm wearing long capris...in 91 degree heat. And it seems nearly impossible to keep a bandaid on. And....since its on my knee every movement feels tight and painful. Grumble grumble.

Only I can take a nice weekend and make it into a bloody mess.

Next post.....plans I'm ready to put into motion...

Optimism

After speaking to my new life coach this weekend (i.e. Marissa) I've come to a conclusion.

Putting all my focus into how my life is making me miserable is not healthy. Sure, there's many things wrong and frustrating. And yes, having depression makes seeing the positive kind of difficult.
If I'm going to do anything with my life I need to start changing things, or at least putting myself in a positive direction. I hate doing nothing with my time and energy. I have all these great ideas and its time some of them come into fruition.

So I'm starting another business, even though my first attempt failed miserably. Which was more the fault of a product that wasn't practical being sold to a market that didn't need it. But anyway...I digress.

I'm in the very early, baby stages of planning. I have yet to even work on testing production methods. But its something I know and love and will hopefully keep my creative side occupied and maybe, eventually, bring in some much needed extra money into my home. I have such a good head for business, I feel like I'm just wasting it. And Aaron is on board to help. Heck, he even seems more excited then I do at times.

Positive directions towards what I think is an attainable goal.

It seems a bit overwhelming and scary, but I've faced much worse. And my first failed attempt didn't kill me, it just stings a little. I can survive.

And since I have no vacation planned to speak of I have nothing but time on my hands. I might as well make something.

Quick non-negative points of interest

Because my whole life can't be gloom and doom, right?

- I'm now a brunette. Sure..not a big difference, unless you haven't been one for over a decade. I'm pretty happy. And its amazing how nice a persons skin looks when being paired with a hair color that is in the same color family as the one they were born with!

- I have an undying love for locally made pickles. I want to eat them with every meal.

- I kind of get a weird kick when I get unapproving looks from tourists walking through the area.

- There's something great about taking a shower after sweating all day at work.

- Bedhead hair products. Sure, I left you once, but I will never leave you again. Especially since Bumble and Bumble seems to be overpriced crap!

- Ted Leo is a hot, hot man. His music puts me in a good mood, no matter how foul I felt previously!

- Sleeping late every single day of this upcoming three day weekend.

- Free bags from work. I got not just one...but two sporty little numbers. Being the bag whore that I am this is the highlight of my freakin year!

- I love my favorite bar in the summer because it gets kind of dead. Not great for the owners, but being able to have conversations with the people around me, and getting to hang out with our friend who just also happens to be the bartender is awesome! Plus, we've met so many other really nice regulars there, I always look forward to going.

- My early summer jams....as in...music that sounds like summer 2007:
* Cold War Kids - Hang me out to dry
* Silversun Pickups - Lazy Eye
* Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - CIA, The Lost Brigade

I'm sure I'll regret this after I get a horrible sunburn and heat exhaustion but i'm actually looking forward to time outside in the sun. I have sunblock ready and sneakers worn in. Flip flops are sitting patiently by the door. I am ready for summer to start already!!

....and yes..I will be eating those words in about a week!