Saturday, March 31, 2007

Did you Miss me?

Yes...I am back.
Well, sort of, I still feel kind of shy and non-social-like. But I can't stay quiet forever...right?

Its just been a whole lot of frustration and hormones. When your having a troublesome time with your life it is really not the best time to ditch birth control for two months. I was broke, didn't want to use what little money I had to buy more, and I thought "hey...interesting additional hormones for two cycles!"

I will NEVER do that again. And if I mention it to you, that I'm thinking this is a good idea again, please hit me until I change my mind. Really wallop me one.

If you have a long long history of depression and hormonal imbalance going off birth control is kind of nuts. I take it mostly for regulation of my insane reproductive cycle. I forgot how depressed and kind of crazy I get without the sweet, sweet pills to keep me in check. I forgot how Texas Chainsaw Massacre-esque my period got. I forgot about all the cramping and headaches and general terribleness. Good lord....why did I let myself forgo something so DAMN important! I'd rather go without food, water and shelter then that!

Mix this looney stew up with some frustration and unhappiness about looking for work and you get my extended absence from the outside world.

I think I even had a bit of agoraphobia sprinkled in for some flavor.

But I'm back now...I hope. Things are running a bit more smoothly. Or I'm so crazy its turned into ridiculous amounts of optimism. I'm going to start working on Monday. I'm sure this sense of hope will wear off as soon as I receive that first tiny, tiny paycheck, but for now.....YEAH!

Say hi......if anyone actually still checks this.