Sunday, October 29, 2006

Happy Freakin Birthday.

I'm officially 30.


I'm old.

Happy one-day-closer-to-my-demise to me!

My best gift?
.....not a wrinkle in sight!

....can't say the same for the gray hairs though....

I think i'm going to go live in a cave until I'm 40....and I'm still not sure if i'll even come out then!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006


It was a year ago today that my mom died.

I got the call at 10pm. My dad had called me earlier in the day to tell me she had been hospitalized, a normal occurrence by then. She was stable and sleeping, so I was holding off going home until the next day, when I was more awake and less hysterical. Then I got the call. A medication she was on, I believe it was to raise her very low blood pressure, caused her heart to stop. They resuscitated her, but it was too late, she already had massive brain damage. They let her pass away.

I didn't get to speak or see her the day she died.
(when I had called that morning she was sleeping)

She was my favorite person in the world. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her.

My boss is very understanding. She gave me the day off. I had every intention of being a productive citizen today, but half way through the morning I started crying and couldn't stop. Its like waves of pain. Whenever a crying fit subsides another one starts.

I just can't believe its been a year. I can't believe I haven't hugged or spoken to my mom in a year. Its just overwhelming.

I hope she's happy wherever she is. And I hope I can make her proud one day.

I just really miss her.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Holy moley!

Wait, how is it already the middle of October?!
I swear, this month has flown by.

I know, I know, I keep promising completed projects, and pictures of those completed projects. But honestly, my knitting has trickled down to a steady stream of droplets. I only have time for 2 hours of knitting a night if I'm lucky. (I'm sure to some of you that may sound like a lot, but I assure you its not) Who knew having a social life would cut into so much damned knitting time!

I did get some new and lovely Black Bunny Yarn! A beautiful laceweight in yellows/browns/ and shades of honey. I'm trying to break out of my obsession with orange. I have too much orange on the backburner. I needed something more mellow. And it reminded me of wheat fields and corn mazes and the color of trees and leaves at the end of autumn. When everything is quiet and brown and the light seems to always be barely over the horizon.

And it will blend so nicely with my musical choices as of late. I listen to cds all day long at work, so I've been tearing through them much faster then I normally do. On heavy rotation right now is: Nina Nastasia, Godspeed You Black Emperor, Mono, Bonnie Prince Billy, and Low. I must come off as this insanely mellow person because everything I listen to seems slower and quiet.
(anyone who's ever met me knows this is SO not the case!)

I have grand plans to finish my Feather and Fan shawl that was recently restarted. Finish my Half-Pi shawl that was also recently restarted. Finish my Koigu cardigan. Finish my leaf lace shawl. And perhaps finally start my Baltic sea stole, and maybe, if it looks as nice in the magazine as it does in the online picture, start the square stole in the upcoming Interweave.
My work is very chilly most days, so having lost of warm shawls will actually come in handy.

Fancy that....actually using the knitted items I make!
Wonders will never cease!

Monday, October 09, 2006

I'm a horrible blogger...

...completely terrible.
I keep promising pictures and knitting stories and I'm just too lazy and/or tired to deliver.
But this time I do have a good excuse. I did drive 5 hours home from Virginia last night, and this was after I was already tired and exhausted.

I have never been so excited to have work canceled in my life!

But. I did finish my scarf. And I did see sheep on my trip. So that's fiberly, right? Although, for as many sheep the historical settlement had they had zero yarn. Isn't that a total let down?
The nerve of those people...using sheep as cute little ornaments. Hrm!

I didn't get any knitting done. I was far too preoccupied with glaring at the rain. We had a three day trip planned, it rained for two of the three days. Wouldn't you glare out your window too?

I'm just rambling. Very tired. Something more substantial soon.
With pictures!!!!

Sunday, October 01, 2006 this space....

Just a quick note. I've been trying to be a good blogger, really I am. I have grand ideas for blogs in my head, I just never seem to have the energy to sit down and move it from my head to my computer.

And...well...I just haven't been up for talking lately. I've had a lot on my mind. Between my upcoming 30th birthday, my lack of any self-confidence, and the sadness over the year anniversary of my mom's death, I've just felt like saying very little. I'll probably go into everything more indepth later.

Today I just feel like saying nothing about everything.

I'm almost done a scarf, so knitting talk will come soon as well.

It can't be all doom and gloom you know. least its finally October 1st. Its my favorite month, but its also become my saddest month all at once. Kind of weird how everything works out.