Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Anniversary

It was a year ago today that my mom died.

I got the call at 10pm. My dad had called me earlier in the day to tell me she had been hospitalized, a normal occurrence by then. She was stable and sleeping, so I was holding off going home until the next day, when I was more awake and less hysterical. Then I got the call. A medication she was on, I believe it was to raise her very low blood pressure, caused her heart to stop. They resuscitated her, but it was too late, she already had massive brain damage. They let her pass away.

I didn't get to speak or see her the day she died.
(when I had called that morning she was sleeping)

She was my favorite person in the world. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her.

My boss is very understanding. She gave me the day off. I had every intention of being a productive citizen today, but half way through the morning I started crying and couldn't stop. Its like waves of pain. Whenever a crying fit subsides another one starts.

I just can't believe its been a year. I can't believe I haven't hugged or spoken to my mom in a year. Its just overwhelming.

I hope she's happy wherever she is. And I hope I can make her proud one day.

I just really miss her.

3 comments:

maris said...

I already left a huge comment in your other blog. But here's another big hug from me! I'm thinking of you today, and your mom and even your sister and your dad. Hopefully, things can be okay for you guys one day, if that is what you want. Much love, and I'm here if you need ANYTHING! xoxo.

Lisa said...

Ditto the comment from Maris and the hugs. I woke up this morning thinking about you and what a rough day it would be. Nothing substitutes for a mom, but I hope that you know how many loving friends surround you.

Lisa

Sherry W said...

I'm sure wherever she is, she's allready proud of you. Take care of yourself, I'm so sorry.