Thursday, September 18, 2008

I've found the way

I'm a firm believer that you have to go through some major shit to become a better person.
I watched my mom spend years of her life in a miserable situation, in enormous amounts of physical pain daily. But she was could connect with people in an almost magical way. She would become fast friends with everyone she would meet. It was amazing, and I think everything she went through had something to do with that.

I'd like to think I'm not quite at rock bottom, but I definitely know I'm near it. The past few years have been hard, emotionally, physically, financially. But I've had a sort of hopeful epiphany in the past few weeks. I think it is directly related to all that I have been through. I'm at a point where I'm broke, I love my husband but i wish I could do more to financially to help him, I'm working below what I am qualified to do, it just seems to go on and on. epiphany: I would like to go back to college for History with a focus on Early American History in Fall 2009. I've put it off for too long. And if possible, i would like to continue my education through a master's degree.

Sometimes it takes frustration and anger and tears to realize your life is not going in the correct direction it needs to be and the path needs to be changed. I plan on getting to my decision..i have no idea.
I look at it like this...trying to flesh out a goal and a plan of action is far more enjoyable then staying put in a toxic situation.

I'm nervous, yet excited.

Wish me luck!


Anonymous said...
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Tanya said...

Good luck!
Hope and Plan is a good start.

Anonymous said...

Yay!! I'm really excited for you... good luck, and don't let applications get you down. They're a bitch, but soo worth it!