...but I need a camera first. A lofty item that just isn't in my budget right now. Every penny in my paycheck goes to bills. And the little bit left goes to groceries. I'm living tighter then tight. I feel like I'm being strangled by my debt. And my job, although satisfactory, is not cutting it pay wise.
So I'm once again on the hunt. Well, I'm always on the hunt...it never seems to end. I've never been so happy with a position that I stopped looking. And this doesn't feel right. What happened to the idea of careers or long-term positions? Everyone in my age bracket seems to jump from position to position, unhappy everywhere. What's the point of working hard if I'm going to move on within a year or two? What's the point of making friends or working overtime? I try not to think about this too much, it just seems kind of depressing and hopeless.
I'm not as obsessive about looking for work as I have been in the past because AA and I are finally in serious move mode. Its not going to happen tomorrow, but hopefully it will be sooner then later. We're just both sick of putting our lives on hold, hoping that something will change. Philadelphia and I just don't see eye to eye. Sure, I'm happy I lived here and for the friends and experiences it has offered me, but I just don't want to stay here any longer. My future is out west. Plus, I don't want to live in one city my whole adult life. I'd like to live a few places, really see what the world has to offer. And if I end up in the east, at least I know I ended up there by my own choosing.
Its funny that all this flux has made me desire the most mundane knitting. All I've been thinking about is garter stitch. I've been working on lace so much lately that I desire to go in the complete opposite direction. I want simple garter stitch...in Koigu since it seems to look the best in garter. I'm thinking of doing the Spanish Dancer shawl from Knitty, but the thought of casting on 410 stitches makes me queasy! But gosh....that pattern is what I need right now. And the hand painted Koigu-esque yarn I got at Sheep and Wool would be perfect! I guess my two sweaters will have to staisfy me right now, until I have the proper time and emotional strength to tackle that insane cast on. I would like to start a few new sweaters. Maybe actually have one done by fall!!!
Which reminds me...as soon as I have a full piggie bank I may splurge on some lovely yarn from Webs and a cardigan pattern. I've been dreaming about it for 6 months now. Since it is using one of their house yarns the price tag is amazingly modest for the quality. How could I say no to a sweater for under $100!!! But this is still a daydream. My wallet is groaning at the thought of it.
And I won't even go into my desire for day trips in such lovely weather...and how it seems like a a total impossibility.
Why does the world have to revolve around money?