Aponia the Knittin Kitten

Everyone go see Coraline!

2009-01-30T00:21:00.005-05:00

I've given up on explaining why I'm a complete slacker about blogging.
Anyway...my excuse is one word....Facebook.
What the hell did I do without that site?

But I digress. I'm very sick, worst cold I've had in years. Its kept me out of commission for days now, so I have very little to report.

But...I will say this. GO SEE CORALINE!!!

Besides looks amazing, with its tiny knits and gothic flair. Besides being based on the writings of one of my favorite people Neil Gaiman.
Besides looking like something I will completely fall head over heels in love with.

Go because my awesome sister-in-law was an animator on the film! I am very lucky to have a sister-in-law that I get along so perfectly with, who is such a lovely person, who I would be friends with even if we both didn't marry into the same family. She is so talented and I'm beaming with pride for her!

Sometimes you just need beauty to keep you awake

2008-12-15T20:29:00.002-05:00

I'm so exhausted. Emotionally and physically.
I really do need something lovely and simple to keep me going through this long December.

The holidays can go screw.

2008-12-11T18:35:00.003-05:00

I'm seriously sick of the holidays...and Christmas...and commercials...and shopping.
I've become very grinch-like over the past two years.

I work in customer service, for a company that sells things to the general public. This is the time of year where everyone comes out of the wood work to shop. So the level of socially inept people I need to speak with on a daily basis sky rockets. I used to have faith that most people honestly care about their fellow man....until Thanksgiving hits. What makes shopping turn harmless people into raving lunatics?
December 1st I had already heard two people say we ruined their Christmas....December 1st...an entire 24 days before Christmas. If I lived in a perfect world I would have told them both to take a flying leap.

But I digress. I'm very broke, I probably will not buy Christmas presents until January. My hair is unruly and unkempt, I desperately need new shoes, and I feel really horrible about not being able to do things for AA. I don't have a family. (I have AA and his family, who I love very much, but it's just not the same.) I miss my mom.
Lots of things....

Anyway...a combination of both of the above make this time of year brutal. I avoid anything Christmas and holiday related because it just make me very depressed. I'm pretty grouchy and exhausted, so having to deal with the general public on my off time is just unbearable.

I just wish December was over. I wish I could go hide away for a month...in a cabin away from all of the commercialization and happy people.

And seriously...this is not my pity party...it's more of a verbalization of my frustration that this holiday has been shoved down my throat...and I do not like it.

Bah humbug.

I couldn't sum this day up any better

2008-11-21T09:05:00.002-05:00

I think one of my favorite Canadian singers said it best:

Snow Falls This November
by Julie Doiron

when the snow falls this November
its such a great place to be
and when the snow falls this November
I see you and me
open the dark curtain
the sky is just getting light
we stay right where we are
all the way till tonight

through the window
we watch the snow
kids walking in snowpants
we don't go nowhere
not today, not tonight

won't tie up my hair
won't get dressed too
I'll just stay here next to you
we don't go nowhere
let the baby sleep
let the dogs rest too

through the window
we watch the show
kids walking in snowpants
we don't go nowhere
not today not tonight
watch the snow all night falls and stay here till November is through
watch the snow all night falls and stay here till November is through
watch the snow all night falls and stay here till November is through
watch the snow all night falls and stay here till November is through

It's not even winter yet and we already have snow. This is the kind of day I dreamed about all summer. It's like a little bit of Canada right here in Philly.
Sigh.
I wish I was at home knitting.

Oh...so that's what you mean...

2008-11-11T22:27:00.005-05:00

I've never really understood the whole seasonal depression thing. Since I had depression all of the time I didn't understand how a season, or change in daylight, or change in weather, could really affect anything.

I didn't understand....until now. I've just been kind of miserable all week for a reason I can't figure out. So I'm blaming the weather, and the change in season, and the darkness that seems to loom over every hour of the day. I hope the entire winter is not like this. Its just...well...depressing!

I've also come to realize that I am incapable of putting buttons on a garment correctly. Sure, I can physically sew it on without a problem, but trying to get everything to line up is just impossible. I don't have a table, I don't want to bend over and lay everything out on the floor, and even if I had the most ideal set up I still don't think it would work.
I normally put on my buttons, wear it out once, nearly cry in hatred of the terrible job I did lining up everything, immediately cut every button off once I get home, then stitch everything back on. Sometimes this replays about three to four times, sometimes I'm lucky and everything falls into place the second time.

How can I do intricate lace and other intimidating things but I can't manage to get a button on properly? Do I subconsciously hate buttons?

I spent the last two hours placing all 9 buttons. I will wear my sweater tomorrow, hopefully not look like a complete idiot, and do the whole process again tomorrow night.
I can seam all day...but buttons....I really hate buttons.

See..I'm grouchy. I'm dealing with a low simmering cold virus, a very empty wallet that will remain that way until January, and a workplace without heat. And now....Warcrack is down for maintenance.

Sigh. Maybe sleeping is the best option at this point in time....before the sweater drives me insane.

For the love of all things holy!

2008-10-21T13:59:00.001-04:00

My internet has been down at home for the past few days.
I had no idea how important to my life my computer was until it went down.

What am I supposed to do? Communicate over the phone? Or read a book? Or actually watch a news program??
I feel like I'm living in the dark ages.

I used my feminine wiles to get a cable guy to come visit our home tomorrow evening. It will hopefully be a signal issue that is easily fixed in our building....or i just may cry.

It's Hallow's End in World of Warcraft and I'm missing it!!!! Grumble grumble grumble.

I hate you world.

(I'll have a Rhinebeck update once my internet access decides to play nice.)

I'm Ms. Aponia if you're nasty!

2008-10-17T11:18:00.002-04:00

Should I feel special that I have the same medical issue that Janet Jackson has?
Vestibular Migraine

I have never canceled a tour do to it though....but i have never toured so, maybe I have!

Migraines suck....add in vertigo and life is miserable. I get them at least a few times a month, and in situations of high stress I get bunches of them weekly.

.....you learn something every day....

Sick days are not so fun as an adult

2008-10-13T15:58:00.002-04:00

After proudly not calling out one day this year due to illness....I went home sick.

I worked three hours, got what I needed done, then walked my long 40 minute trek home, which feels miles longer when breathing out of your nose is not an option.
I stopped, picked up some chilly from a local coffee house and cold medicines from CVS, and went up to my apartment.
My cats where happy to see me but kind of puzzled as to why I was here.

I took an hour nap and now need to drink hot tea and work on a baby sweater I need done by this weekend.

I just wish I had the sense to play hooky when I didn't feel terrible. A mental health day would be nice once and awhile.

Oh well..I'm off to sneeze and blow my nose for the one millionth time today.

Please remember...hand sanitizer is your friend everyone!

This is my life in a nutshell

2008-10-02T19:00:00.005-04:00

marriedtothesea.com

Autumn

2008-09-25T11:55:00.001-04:00

This time of year is very strange for me. It's my favorite season, my favorite time of year. There is so much I love about the fall. The leaves changing and colder weather. The smell of spices and the taste of apples. The perfect twilight this time of year seems to produce and the clean crisp mornings. Halloween and all that it encompasses.

But, there is this underlying sadness through this whole season. We almost lost my mom in September, and we eventually did in October. So fall seems to rouse this longing in me, I long for my family and my mom and this personal history i had that no longer exists. To this day I can't think about her without my heart breaking. I still can't really talk about her or think about those months leading up to her death.

This time of year makes me happy and sad all together. I feel quiet, and a little bit lonely, and more introverted then usual. And it's really hard to explain this to people....it's almost like it's unexplainable, and until you go through it's not very understandable. It's kind of like a rite of passage. This burden that doesn't fall upon you until the worst happens, and it's not a terrible thing, it's just something that comes along with you for the rest of your life.
And fall is my reminder. Fall is when the burden gets a bit heavier and everything seems a bit darker.

I miss her. Just like I miss this season when it is over.
And they both exist, well, existed, far to briefly.

I've found the way

2008-09-18T14:16:00.001-04:00

I'm a firm believer that you have to go through some major shit to become a better person.
I watched my mom spend years of her life in a miserable situation, in enormous amounts of physical pain daily. But she was could connect with people in an almost magical way. She would become fast friends with everyone she would meet. It was amazing, and I think everything she went through had something to do with that.

I'd like to think I'm not quite at rock bottom, but I definitely know I'm near it. The past few years have been hard, emotionally, physically, financially. But I've had a sort of hopeful epiphany in the past few weeks. I think it is directly related to all that I have been through. I'm at a point where I'm broke, I love my husband but i wish I could do more to financially to help him, I'm working below what I am qualified to do, it just seems to go on and on.

So...my epiphany: I would like to go back to college for History with a focus on Early American History in Fall 2009. I've put it off for too long. And if possible, i would like to continue my education through a master's degree.

Sometimes it takes frustration and anger and tears to realize your life is not going in the correct direction it needs to be and the path needs to be changed.

Now...how I plan on getting to my decision..i have no idea.
I look at it like this...trying to flesh out a goal and a plan of action is far more enjoyable then staying put in a toxic situation.

I'm nervous, yet excited.

Wish me luck!

Every year, every fall

2008-09-12T14:37:00.002-04:00

I always forgot how delicious the Pumpkin Spice Frap is at Strarbucks.

Anyway...on to the mushy stuff.

As of yesterday, September 11th, Aaron and I have been partners in crime for eight years.
This is an awfully long time. Nearly a decade. So much has happened I can barely wrap my brain around it.
We met when we were 23, we're now turning 32.

I love him, with all of my heart, my mind, my soul, and my person. He's my favorite person and my best friend. I can't imagine a day without him.

I love you AA!

What if I told you
I could lose you?
If I waited,
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow
May be too late

Birds fly above you
Love is around you
I would like to be too
Forever, forever and ever
With you

I would follow you
Anywhere you are going to
Tomorrow, forever, always

And if you were to
Sail across the ocean blue
I would like to sail with you
I'd follow, I'd follow, I'd follow
You home

I would follow you
Anywhere you are going to
Tomorrow, forever, always

I would follow you
Oh, anywhere you are going to
Tomorrow, forever,
Tomorrow, forever,
Tomorrow, forever, always
- Rosie Thomas

Look at my pictureless blog

2008-09-04T22:04:00.007-04:00

I am married to a photographer. Someone who takes many many pictures.
One day folks...one day. When it's not so hot that I sweat at my computer because my tower is producing too much heat.

Its September and all the trees in my neighborhood are dead and dry and it was over 90 degrees today.
What the hell??!!

I continue to march on through my sweaters. My grand plan is to have at least two sweaters done by October. Sure...this doesn't really sound like a crazy idea, but all the sweaters I make are normally done on a needle size smaller then a US 7. The two I would like to finish are on a 6 and 5 respectively. And...and...its hot. Much hotter then expected.
I'm trying to stay on course. And finish a shawl sample that is WAY overdue as well.
I will complete all my tasks if it kills me!

Eek!

Besides that I've been riding my bike...remembering how sore my ass can be from riding a bike...trying to pretend that I don't look like a total moron in my bike helmet...hoping that I will one day find the shoes of my dreams....and being endless entertained by my husband and cats.

That's it. My new goal is to also post more regularly. So maybe someone other then my husband will read this occasionally.

Whatever.

2008-08-19T18:43:00.007-04:00

nataliedee.com

Work is kind of meaningless if you still can't pay your bills at the end of the day...

No truer words have ever been said...

2008-08-17T22:50:00.001-04:00

"Remember; no matter where you go, there you are"

- Buckaroo Bonzai

Best. movie. ever.

I want sleep.

2008-07-29T19:13:00.004-04:00

I really wish I had something awesome to say here.
Blogs are supposed to be about innermost thoughts and vacations and things people have made, right?

All I can think of right now is:
"shit shit shit...fuck....oh my god...seriously?...fuck fuck...shit...yawn"

...on the heaviest of rotations.

I'm so stressed out that when I get home I want to knit mindlessly and stare off into space. I can barely handle talking to other human beings right now...let alone typing to them.

....oh...and my cats are doing some nasty things in their litter box...

...I know...i'm totally and completely lucky.

I want summer to be over....now.

I'm not dead...I'm just really tired

2008-07-18T18:51:00.002-04:00

I hate the summer.
I hate moving.

Combining the two makes me completely miserable. We're moved into our new place in South Philly, but we live among piles and piles of boxes. I can't find my ball winder, eye shadow, Q tips, books, notpads, pens, or anything else I may need on a regular basis.

I'm trying to keep calm, but between the rising stress from not finding anything and ridiculous heat its hard not to just cry hysterically on a regular basis.

On happier notes my cats went through their first check up A-ok! Besides a small case of ear mites they are happy and healthy and don't hate me for holding them down while getting their ears probed. If it wasn't so irritatingly hot I'd hug them.

Did I mention I'm typing this while sitting on the floor? Yeah...it's that bad.

But at least I'm moved. That shithole we occupied for 8 months is a distant memory.
And we have the swellest bar a block and a half from our apartment. I can see it from my living room.

And everyone knows a good bar is where your heart is...

I won't be a stranger...well...until the heat in this little room is unbearable...
....and a chair and desk would be swell...

2008-06-21T16:54:00.001-04:00

This morning I woke up and watched the history of hip hop with AA for 3 hours.
Then we went to Petco and got what we like to call a cat starter kit.

By tomorrow we'll have two cats that we will be living here with, and moving to the new place with.

Yes...we're finally becoming pet owners!

More to come soon...

2008-06-16T21:29:00.003-04:00

Stan Winston and Tim Russert.....I can't believe they both died over the weekend.
I always liked Tim Russert on NBC. He was well spoken and seemed so up beat and friendly. Not the normal face you see in political coverage.

And Stan Winston....I mean....that man was my childhood. He brought some of my favorite movies to life. He was one of the reasons I wanted to do special effects many moons ago.

They both seemed to die before their time.

Its just so sad.

2008-06-04T22:13:00.004-04:00

Babies babies everywhere.

Seriously...EVERYWHERE! Everyone seems to have one or two or five.

And I think I'm finally....gasp...wanting one of my own.
So before everyone starts sending me frantic emails...no...I'm not pregnant...and no...I don't plan on being in my immediate future. But I really want one. Two actually...but i'll start with one.
I work with many people who have babies...or little people...and they are just awesome creatures to behold. I mean...its a brand new person experiencing everything we adults find boring and normal for the very first time...and everything is amazing! There's no jadedness, no paranoia or worry, just miles and miles of wonder ahead. And its just the coolest thing.

Today seemed to be the first moment that I felt the "oh my god I want one" feeling. I mean, I always did, but I'm sitting there, watching a repeat of the Gilmore girls, saw a baby, and suddenly felt this crazy longing I never had before. I wanted to smell a babies head, and hold it in my arms, and kiss it's nose. It was this unbelievable urge and suddenly I felt like I must have a baby....no matter how much it changes my life....I must have one.

Like I said...not tomorrow...we would like to figure out where to live and how to feed ourselves on our meager paychecks before throwing another mouth into the mix....but hopefully soon.

2008-05-21T23:04:00.001-04:00

I have nothing new to report. I just felt weird having everything so empty in here.
When i'm not at work, which is going awesome for a change (and I swear to god I'm not being sarcastic), I'm looking for somewhere to live. When I'm not looking I'm stressing out and worrying about finding somewhere to live.
When I'm not doing that I'm most likely asleep. Or drinking, which is sort of the same, but completely not.

Who knew constant worry could make you so tired.

I need to leave the city for a day. And get a dog and cat. And buy a bike. And play something other then Oblivion for the 3rd time.

I have no idea what I'm really talking about....I hope I find a house soon.

2008-05-15T21:04:00.001-04:00

Damn you food!

Seriously...my falafel sandwich was so good...and the fries with mayo garlic dip were dreamy, but man, my stomach is in knots. Giant knots of pain and torture.

And this on top of the pain I was already feeling in my nether regions.

Argh. Ugh. Ick.

I have a top secrept knitting project I'm avoiding starting. I'm fine once my projects are started, I just hate the first few stitches. They drive me insane. I'm unlike every other knitter around...I like the monatiny of working on the body of a sweater, I hate starting it or working on the sleeves or seaming it...I like all the boring in the middle. I wonder what that says about me. I like tedious tasks that let me get completely wrapped up in my thoughts? I really enjoy watching stupid tv shows while actually getting things accomplished?

I'm going to try my hand at writing patterns soon. Its not really that difficult, the math doesn't scare me at all, and its gotten so easy to sell them yourself. PDF's have made life easier.

I was also contemplating writing again too. I'd like to think I could go back to poetry and be as skilled and talented as I used to be, but I don't know. Even essay writing makes me nervous. Whenever I think about writing I picture it as a big pool, and I'm standing next to the deep end and I don't want to jump in. Cause, you know, I could die, or make an ass out of myself, or come to the realization that I suck at everything I used to be good at. (i was never good at swimming, but I digress)

I'm a total whimp. I think that's the moral of my story.

2008-05-06T21:12:00.005-04:00

I really should blog when I'm something other then exhausted.

Work is crazy, and when I'm not working I'm looking for somewhere to live. We're sick of the commute and being so far away from everything and everyone. I'm not technically in the suburbs but I may as well be. Its horrible, HORRIBLE! How do normal people do it?

Sheep and Wool. For being as photograph crazy as I am I took maybe three shots the whole day, and they all included sheep and their adorable tocks. A huge heart felt hug and thank you to my two traveling companions: the lovely Laura and wonderful Carol. It was a fun day full of swearing, boob talk and sheep ogling.
My haul this year was light, for me anyway. Five small skeins of lace weight and two cones of Shetland...that's it. I had fun, but just wasn't really into buying this year. Its weird...all the yarn becomes a big blur after awhile, and my interest in it wanes as the day progresses. Although, I am proud to say this is the first year I've had zero buyers remorse. I'm getting so sensible in my old age!

Pictures...soon.
Details about Sheep and Wool and the wonderful women behind Knit So Fine (go buy it now)....soon.
A post detailing something other then how tired I am........hopefully?

Later gators!

2008-05-01T20:12:00.002-04:00

I have promised pictures.
I have many pictures to post.

I've just had one doozy of a week. I'm so tired that I could fall asleep sitting here. And seriously...if I see one more excel sheet I may scream. SCREAM!

I do have good news though. I finally had my year review at work...and it went awesome! I'm appreciated and I got a raise. I'm still spending most of my paychecks to pay off my retarded credit card debt, but at least now I have a few extra dollars left over!

And...the absolute best part....I will be getting paid retroactively for the past month, starting with tomorrows pay day! Conveniently before Maryland Sheep and Wool!

There really is a god!

Hallelujah!

2008-04-23T19:14:00.002-04:00

I'm trying to keep on a schedule.
So I blog.

Even though I have a horrible cold and I stared at an Excel spread sheet at work today for 8 hours.
(We're doing inventory...I think I would have preferred counting and dust to eye strain)

Finding a picture is too much work right now. My tired and foggy brain can't deal with it.

Plus, I'm still in a bit of a funk about Obama losing the primary in PA. He's everything I want my president to be, and Hilary is not. I was a little crushed that he lost the state, but happy as punch that he did win Philadelphia.
All I can say is Damn you white liberals in the burbs!

I need a nap.

2008-04-20T19:17:00.003-04:00

I've been taking many pictures lately. I have literally hundreds to put up here at some point.

But not today. I found out through the wonders of the internet that my parents dog, my dog, died.
I didn't really expect to get as upset as I did. I've just been unbelievably sad all weekend.

I've missed her everyday since I moved away, now I'll miss her even more.

I love you Hec.

2008-03-31T19:27:00.005-04:00

I have found my new favorite website / blog.
I want to make out with it...and perhaps...have its babies.

Stuff White People Like

"Ah ha ha, it's true, it's true! We're so lame!"
- Homer Simpson

2008-03-22T12:36:00.005-04:00

I need to keep this up. For my own writing ability and for my one reader.

I'll have a more intricate post later. Right now I'm tired and thinking about the brownie I got from Flying Monkey yesterday.

I had a lovely good Friday off. I bought the best smelling lip balm, some much needed moisturizer, and delicious soap. Then I met up with Aaron to see the Star Wars exhibit at the Franklin Institute.
So...I'm glad I only paid $10.50 a ticket for the evening admission. It was short and missing a lot of props I'd expect to be there (no Ewoks???? WTF?) It was worth the cheaper admission but not at all worth the $20.50 daytime and weekend admission. Sure, you get to see the rest of the museum with the higher price, but it really hasn't changed much since the last time I was there 7 years ago. And we ended up just walking into areas anyway...not one person asked to see our ticket to the rest of the museum (which was supposedly closed but full of people)

I do admit to not being the biggest Star Wars fan. I was always kind of blah about the whole franchise. My heart belongs to Star Trek. But I do admit to getting kind of gigglely when seeing Chewbacca. The costume was really amazing...just huge and hairy and detailed. All I did was dork out over the details in the costuming.
I think it confused the nerds a little bit.

2008-03-20T22:29:00.004-04:00

I'm tired.
And lame...for being so tired at 10:30 pm on a Thursday night.
I don't even work tomorrow....double lame.

That's about all I can must from my sleepy head.
I just think I need to say something...keep this blogging/documenting kick alive.

For the one person who reads it..
Hello one person.

2008-03-17T22:08:00.003-04:00

I was tempted to take my last post down. The grammar was atrocious! But I won't. Its what I said in that moment in time, no matter how sloppy or poorly thought out.

Sometimes it amazes me that I used to be a writer.

I've fallen head over heels in love with the Misti Alpaca Hand Paint Lace. I have 5 colors in total but 6 skeins (I repeated Seattle because its the most wonderful neutral ever!) I just want to sit and look at it all day...occasionally petting it to make sure its not some wonderful yarn dream.

I love it almost as much as I'm loving John Adams thus far....
Sigh...Thomas Jefferson was so dreamy.

I'm taking many pictures. Until I have a flickr account up and running I'm posting a picture with every entry. The pictures are keeping me more active here then strictly text.

I'm very sad I didn't really see snow. I read blogs from Canadians with multiple feet of snow, and daydreamed of being in a cozy warm house with snow falling outside, but it would not have been practical in my current housing situation.
I welcome spring with open arms, and scowl at summer coming up right behind it. I feel more awake and alive with the longer hours of daylight. My commute doesn't feel as hellish as it did, even though I am looking forward to moving away and ending that horrible train ride once and for all! We cannot move back to the city soon enough!

The suburbs are nice for some people but definitely not for me! How do people do it? I feel trapped and stir crazy. If I had a few acres and a big house maybe, but anything smaller then that is hell! At least in the city I can walk dozens of places without even thinking about my car.

I need to go back to fawning over my Misti. Its exactly all the colors I've wanted for years...

2008-03-12T21:25:00.004-04:00

I'm still feeling particularly antisocial. I think its a combination of work stress, work horribleness and the long drawn out winter.

Although going home with the sun still up is a vast improvement (I don't leave my office until 6:20, I don't get home until 7pm)

We have a new photo program to play with so expect lovely pictures soon. This magical program can even make my retarded landscape pictures marvelous!

I'm excited for Top chef tonight. I didn't even know it was premiering until Saturday. I'm so behind in my pop culture.
I won't even explain my excitement over the John Adams mini series starting this weekend on HBO. I am OBSESSED with period movies, always have been always will. I love early American history, and I have a weird crush on Paul Giamatti.
I'm just going to watch it over and over and over. I can't wait until the DVD!!!!

I'm on an egg salad kick. My mom grew up eating it everyday during her childhood so she hated to make it. I could only occasionally talk her into making it for me. I'm also fascinated with Deviled Eggs but they seem to really only exist for parties. But I digress...my egg salad is delicious and I could eat it until I got sick of it, which I swear would be never!

I ordered 3 skeins of the new Misti Alpaca Hand painted laceweight yarn. I bought it for the soul purpose of designing a shawl from it. I may just sit at my door at work and watch for the postman every day until it arrives. I love Webs....truly and deeply for brining this treasure to me. My local yarn store 3 states away.

I think that's all the conversation I can muster. And that took a lot.
I do feel kind of bad though. Its hard to explain to people that you just don't feel like talking...or only talking to a very tiny amount of people. Most don't really understand it. I'm kind of confused be people who need to socialize all the time. Don't you ever just feel like being quite and alone with your thoughts? So weird.

I just haven't felt myself lately. I feel like an awkward teenager.
...I'm hoping I'll hit my 20's soon.

Lucretia My Reflection

2008-03-05T19:18:00.002-05:00

Maybe it's the newly imported Cocteau Twins on my Ipod.
Maybe it's the end of winter.
Maybe it's my work situation finally becoming calmer so my mind has time to wander.

Something is making me have lust and longing for all that is dark.

My current shawl is black, aqua and brown. Much darker then I normally knit with. (and it's Anne of all things!) I obsessively think about the Raven series from Blue Moon Fibers and how much I want to get two color ways in Geisha. I'm itching to start my kimono sweater in dark black purple. If it's black and purple i want it. If it's black and blue i want it!

And now.....oh Webs....you filthy whore of a store! You tempt me with the new Misti Alpaca hand painted laceweight yarn! Its too much temptation!

I'm not on a yarn diet or anything else ridiculous...my budget is just so small it hurts to look at anything except necessities. A splurge for me right now is spending $1.50 on a soda for lunch...and that is living the high life.

But one day....oh....you dark little beauties will be me all mine!

(although...I admit, the misti colors I like are not dark or depressing...they are down right bright and cheery....but....that would have kind of ruined my momentum, don't you think?)

EW!

2008-03-04T19:32:00.001-05:00

http://welcometophilly.com/food/index.php

I am never eating anywhere in this city again. EW!

Except Franklin Fountain...it's an all ice cream existence for me!

I seriously wish I could burn everything I read about places I go to out of my head.

I'm going to go wash my eyes out with soap and water.

(titles are stupid....)

2008-02-26T19:59:00.007-05:00

Seriously...this may be the best picture of me recently.

I don't know...my face hates cameras.

What you can't see is my head of curly hair. I turn 31 and all of the hair on my head becomes curly. I'm completely perplexed. I literally had to buy all new hair products to deal with my longer curly hair.
I had to buy a hair iron for heavens sakes!!!

Nothing else new to report. I work all week, drink on Saturday's, and play Mass Effect obsessively in between. Its hard to pull my self away to get any knitting done.
I'm on my second play through of the game and I'm not sick of it yet.
Now if I could only find a way to make money obsessively playing a video game over and over again.

I've also been out shooting with Aaron a lot. Shooting pictures that is.
We've become mildly obsessed with a lovely stretch of roadway near our apartment. West River Drive (yes...I know its now MLK blvd or whatever it is they named it....but I will call it West River Drive until I die!!!) is scenic but far less crowded then its sister road Kelly Drive. The walk way winds next to the river and there's very few people on it. It even has two feirce patrol geese! The meanest and nastiest geese I've ever met. They hissed at us, ran after me, and hissed even as we drove out of the parking lot.

I should have a flurry of knitted items finished shortly. Perhaps some pictures. If I can pull myself away from my dreamy space fantasy that is.

2008-02-14T09:19:00.008-05:00

I married the best boy ever two years ago today.

He will always be my Valentine!

Forever, and ever, and ever!

WTF???

2008-02-03T22:13:00.000-05:00

What the hell just happened???

The Patriots were supposed to win...they were supposed to wipe the field with the Giants.

WTF???? Giants won...what?

I can't watch football anymore...it makes me too mad.

(and yeah...I know since I'm from NJ I should be a Giants fan, which I kind of am, but I really do love the Patriots....and an undefeated season would have been awesome)

I'm so frustrated...I need to go stare at the wall for a bit.

Are those pictures on the horizon?

2008-01-29T19:35:00.000-05:00

I FINALLY have a camera.

Finally.

One of my very own.

The most adorable little digital camera. It lives in my purse. I take random pictures of buildings on a daily basis.

I'm not the kind of person who takes pictures of people. I'm more of a things, stuff, and buildings kind of gal.

I have it named it yet. It still hasn't had a name jump out at me.

But what does all of this have to do with my blog and you...my...well...one reader?

PICTURES!!!!
I will not have a naked blog any longer!!!!

....now if only I would actually finish a project or two..

Heath Ledger...so sad.

2008-01-22T19:35:00.000-05:00

Seriously depressing.
He was such a good actor and he had such a young daughter.
Definitely some of the saddest hollywood news I've heard recently.

RIP Heath Ledger.

Seriously...it is not January

2008-01-11T20:50:00.000-05:00

Its been warm, like spring warm. I would like to enjoy it, but its doing quite the number on my lungs. As I've posted about previously, I'm still sick as a dog. But I plan on spacing out all weekend so hopefully my poor little lungs and nose will heal during this mindless time.

The only thing that has cheered me up is:
- new yarn. New lace yarn. The kind of lace yarn that makes me daydream at work of all the things I'd like to make with it
- new patterns, for new lace yarn
- The speed I've seem to built up when it comes to knitting lace shawls. I can make a shoulder shawl in a week, at about an hour or two a night. So if I had nothing else to do I could probably make one in a day, if that's all I did and I wasn't horribly ill. Maybe making shawls on the side to sell isn't as insane of an idea as I thought it was.
- Flight of the Conchords.
- my sense of smell and taste is kind of back. I can taste strong flavors and I can smell strong smells. I'm looking forward to the day when even the tiniest scent can be noticed again
- Franklin Fountain...my favorite historical ice cream shop...is now open all year long. Last year they closed for winter....I'm glad I can stop in for hand made soda and a hot fudge Sundae any Saturday I choose.

Aa just bought a camera so picture coming soon!

Ugh.

2008-01-08T22:36:00.000-05:00

I was healthy for about a week. I caught a cold last week, which has morphed into a sinus infection and hacking cough. I feel horrible. I blame 3 things: 1. public transportation 2. a really warm and dry work environment 3. Crazy up and down weather patterns.

Just sitting here typing feels like a big struggle, because its hard to stop coughing long enough to type.

Aa is looking into buying a nice, new camera so pictures may be coming soon.
I just finished a baby sweater but sadly gifted it before taking pictures.

Since I'm not up to conversing yet here's some bullet points of interest:

- I'm already in love with Parking Wars. Its follows the parking authority in Philadelphia. Every "fuck you" makes me beam with pride
- I'm in the teeny tiny stages of making my fiber dreams come true. I'm thinking of starting my own yarn based business. That's all I'm going to say for now, but I really am hoping that everything works out this year.
- I like buying yarn from Etsy more then any other place. Seriously. So many creative people out there. I will say it.....the web will be the LYS of the future.
- There's too many video games to play right now. What to choose....space alien RPG or weird puzzle game with a homicidal computer. So many choices....and all reviewed well. Too bad none of them will be as swoon inducing as Bioshock was.
- I'm looking forward to the superbowl. My pick: The Patriots, and that is not just because Tom Brady is cute (although I'm more of a Brett Favre kind of girl myself)

More soon. I'm getting tired just sitting up at this point so I need to go take medicine and lay down for a bit.

My life is nothing more then work and snot.

2007-12-08T00:35:00.001-05:00

I go to sleep and dream of inputting orders and talking to customers about their mis-shipments. Seriously...its all I ever think about anymore.
My job normally consists of more interesting things but the title wave of web orders has made my life revolve around this one obsessive compulsive thing.

Sigh.

And my head is so tightly packed full of snot and mucus that I'm amazed I can have any thoughts at all. I have a horrendous cold. I guess working non-stop has made my lousy immune system more lousy then normal and I've picked up the crappy cold everyone else has had.

I'm going to work tomorrow for a few hours.

Tomorrow is Saturday.

Stupid fucking holidays.

Wait.....what? Who? When? Wha?

2007-11-27T20:47:00.000-05:00

I'm so tired.

The Christmas shopping season may sound completely awesome to most people, but it completely sucks for the few of us who actually have to sell things to the general population. Our web sales have already tripled, which means my work hours have already greatly increased.

Just this little bit of extracurricular computing at home seems to be too much.

Please excuse my absence. I'm only averaging about 11 hours at home any given day, and 6 hours of that is devoted to sleeping, I'd like to hang out with AA for at least a few hours a day, even if its in a barely conscious state.

I'm not dead....I just will kind of feel that way until January.

Time flies when you are not having fun

2007-11-17T17:04:00.000-05:00

This fall has been horrendous. Simply a mess. Between moving and work, everything has been a giant headache filled blur.

Sorry I do apologize to anyone I have been out of touch with. We've been moved into our new place for about 3 weeks now and we are still living out of boxes and bags, that is exactly what our life has become. We are so busy we can't even put anything away. I actually bought new jeans and underwear because it was easier.
And it is only getting worse. We've lost two employees at work, during the start of our busiest time, so my 9 hour work day will most likely stretch into a 12 hour work day, and I will definitely be taking the stress home with me. I wish the paychecks were nice and plump too, then I wouldn't feel as bad about everything. I just hate feeling like I'm 2 weeks behind every single day. And now that we are horribly short staffed its only going to get worse.

My birthday was pitiful, I have a cold that will just not go away, and my stress level is through the roof. I'd go on vacation but I can barely afford a latte. I think a full nights sleep would be lovely...too bad our new neighbors are constantly fighting. Sigh.

Thanksgiving can't come soon enough. Free food and a night away from Philadelphia seems like the only thing I want right now.

I have one new skein of yarn...it was my one and only splurge because it matches my new coat, but our camera is dying so no new photos until the holidays. So...picture to come later!

If anyone sees a big bag of money laying around please send it my way...it would be much appreciated!

the hardest anniversary I have.

2007-10-25T10:40:00.000-04:00

January 20, 1941 - October 25, 2005

My mom died two years ago today.

It feels like so much time has passed, like a whole lifetime, but it all feels so recent too.

I still cry most nights. I still can't look at her handwriting and I still start sobbing whenever I go into an AC Moore.

Its weird what memories I think about most. I'm always picturing her hands, and the silly face she would make at me or the short but sweet voicemails she would leave me.

I was a stronger person when she was here I'd like to continue to be, make her proud of me, but sometimes getting out of bed and dragging myself to work is all I can muster.

I miss her everyday....and I will forever.

I love you mom...and I always will.

I'm missing you.

2007-10-05T12:14:00.001-04:00

Lake Shore Drive
by the Innocence Mission

Regret has gone down in my estimation now.
The old world had you smiling out,
putting your arms around.
I tell myself now
things I would have told to you,
the smallest plan, the greatest news.
The more days come, the more it's true.

Right now I've got to get back home,
in from the sad day out.
Missing you forever,
yes, I shout, yes I, yes I, yes I am.

It seems the right time
to let go of the steep incline
of this day and to know you're mine
forever and I will be fine.
In me will you shine,
shine, shine, will you shine.

I'm stepping through
the streams and fountains of the sad day out.
Missing you forever,
yes, I shout, yes I, yes I, yes I am.
Yes I, yes I, yes I am.

I miss my mom.

Practice makes perfect.

2007-09-29T00:09:00.000-04:00

Maybe if I post regularly I'll get so into the habit I won't let it drop off for months anymore.

Too bad I have very little to say right now. I'm so full of conversations and loud noises all day at work that the last thing I want to do when I'm at home is be communicative. (well, I'm constantly talking to Aaron, but he doesn't count, he lives with me, proximity makes it easier to keep conversations going)

Lists have become my new best friends. And short bullet points are easier to read then full complete paragraphs.

I've finally been not so lazy about acquiring new cds. I work a few blocks from a record store but never bothered to walk over there. I blame the summer heat and lack of money. But I have finally started to fatten up my music collection. And..well..after listening to the same dozen albums on my Ipod for 6 months straight, it was time to listen to something else.

So....new albums I have recently picked up and have fallen head over heels in love with:
- Iron and Wine - The Shepard's Dog. Ok, this actually just came out, but I can't get enough of it. I want to play it non-stop in my head at all times. His voice...oh lord his voice.
- Sufjan Stevens - Michigan. I'm still confused as to why I didn't like him when I first heard him years ago. I had it in my head I didn't like it....but he sounds like every other band I listen to. I'm glad I've finally turned. His music is lovely.
- Hayden - Skyscraper National Park. I've wanted this album for ages but never seemed to order it. I've heard it before, but that doesn't make me love it any less.
- Denison Witmer - Are You a Dreamer. He's from Lancaster, PA. He knits...even going so far as to knit the entire cover of this album. He's friends with Innocence Mission and don Peris produced his album with Karen singing on a handful of the tracks. Its beautiful. Its quiet and lovely.
- Calexico - The black Light. Another one I've been meaning to get forever but never got around to. Mexicana/country/rock/indie/folk mix. Its hard to explain. I love them so.

We have 4 places to go look at tomorrow. I'm hoping we see something we would actually want to live in. I thought it would be much easier then it has been. Who knew so many houses could be so depressing.

Wish me luck!

Late September and its still feels like summer!

2007-09-25T20:13:00.000-04:00

WTF?

90 degrees tomorrow.

Bah. I will never get to wear anything wooly at this rate!

Sorry for the loooonnnggg absence. Work has been hectic, the man and I are trying to find a house to move to, and I've been spending most of my free time knitting. I'm doing a sample for the most fabulous Shannon and I'm on a deadline. Well, a very vague loose deadline, which I'm actually trying to adhere to since i was very wishy washy and lazy about it at the beginning.

I've finished a shawl for myself, but no picture yet.

Hmm...why am I updating again? It seems like I have so little to say.
So here's a list of stuff I like, since lists are the new black:
- The Eagles..particularly Westbrook. That man is amazing
- Iron and Wine - The Shepard's Dog. I've been waiting forever for this album...and it was worth every agonizing minute. When I see him on Friday it will be magical!
- The 2007 World Series of Poker is finally on ESPN. Watching poker may be the lamest thing I do, but I love it!
- Halloween themed magazines. Particularly Make and Martha Stewart. I may not be having a big party or have a front yard to decorate, but a girl can dream.
- Tastykake Pumpkin Pie. Its the unofficial beginning of the autumn season
- Halo 3. Such a pretty game to look at, and it will keep AA out of my hair for a few days!
- Even though AA and I are mentally ready to move the hell away from Philly, financially we can't. But...it is nice to know that there are a few neighborhoods in Philly that let you forget that your still in...well...Philly.

Hopefully more substantial updates soon. Maybe once we have somewhere to actually live. All of our energy is in home hunting mode. And this heat...this heat is making me antisocial and grouchy....and since we've already taken out our air conditioners...multiply that crankiness by 100.

Seriously September....what the hell?

I hate how life always interupts my knitting..

2007-08-15T21:23:00.000-04:00

I've been meaning to blog. I even have pictures of a recently completed baby sweater. I've had knittings things to talk about, summer photos and stories, and updates about my life in general.

But life, doing what it does, has kept me busy. Work has been kicking my ass repeatedly. And if that wasn't enough I've been having medical issues as of late. Nothing to get myself to paranoid over, but enough to keep me stressed out. I have to go for a bunch of tests. Its nothing that came from out of the blue, but its a lot of things that can be devastating if left unchecked.

My knitting vacation just doesn't seem to be helping. I've been so tired its hard to work on anything. I think my goal of two sweaters done this summer has been officially thrown off track. Although, baby sweaters count, right?

I'll update soon.

video game lust

2007-06-28T13:21:00.000-04:00

I need to say something not knitting related:

The new Grand Theft Auto Trailer is seriously making me swoon.

I cannot get over how great their faux NYC looks! Holy god almighty! They even have Coney Island in there.

Sigh.

I think I need a cold shower now.
....and a Xbox 360..

I have always been and always will be a gamer. My love of the video game console and PC runs strong and deep. And If my house was on fire, and I had to save my PC with all my saved games on it or a sweater's worth of yarn......
I think you know where this is going...

My saved games will always win over a sweater in a fight to the death.

For realz.

I Hate Summer

2007-06-26T13:13:00.000-04:00

Ok, that's a bit harsh. I strongly dislike summer. Summer and I are not on speaking terms.

Between the hot sun, bugs, and massive amounts of people everywhere there's not much to like. The only highlights are days off, longer amounts of sunlight, and air conditioning.

Some of my mental tasks to be completed before summer is over..

- knit two sweaters. I'm being wildly optimistic about this one. (remember, i knit on tiny needles on a regular basis..this could be quite the challenge)
- grow my hair to at least my shoulders. Not since high school has it been farther then my chin. But now that it is miraculously curly I look forward to having longer wavy locks.
- darken the freckles on my face
- visit the beach at least once
- go on at least three trips. It could be one day, it could be a weekend. Just get me the hell out of Philadelphia!
- re-arrange my bookshelves. (doesn't sound very exciting, but don't be fooled, i've put this off for at least 2 years now)
- read at least two books
- play at least two of the video games I have yet to play but have been sitting on for months/years.
- get my business off the ground

I'm sure there's more things on that list in my head, but i must be blocking things i really don't want to do.

Nothing is very spectacular, but i will be immensely happy if I get all of that accomplished over the next three months.

I really did have a much more detailed blog in the works in my head, but I've lost motivation, plus the radio at work keeps distracting me. I long for days of absolute quiet. Everything is so noisy in my life, even when nothing is running.

Summer is noisy....another annoyance of this time of year. Its the time of white noise and loud speaking people.

Blah. Where's a cold dark cave when you need one.

My Weekend was filled with blood and sun..

2007-06-18T14:55:00.000-04:00

I bet the blood thing threw you off. It did the same thing to me, and I had to clean the mess up!
But let me back track a bit...

Friday: good pizza and ice cream cones from my favorite ice cream shop.

Saturday Day: Renegade Craft Fair in Brooklyn. Besides being completely over hipsters and their ilk, the day was fun. It was literally in an abandoned pool (AA didn't believe me even after I showed him a picture). This was kind of insane, being that it was 10 degrees hotter in the pool then outside of it. I can see why they work best filled with water. I bought the tastiest smelling lotion ever, two vinyl cuffs (with 2, maybe 3 more on the way..I love Miss Alison!!!), a tiny hair accessory and 2 lapel pins. I went with the always fabulous Marissa who is seriously awesome. I love supporting small companies so craft shows are my mecca. I only wish I had more money.

Saturday Night: Enter the blood. I met up with AA at our favorite bar. We had buckets of fun talking to everyone and drinking a few beers. Fastforward a few hours later. We are walking home, I'm a little buzzed, but far from falling down drunk. I'm walking past a bunch of restaurants that offer seating outside (on the freakin sidewalk to be exact. I won't even get into how infurating it make me when restaurants do this. They hog up the entire damn sidewalk...a public sidewalk no less, so pedestrians have to walk on the street. WTF is that??) I'm going from sidewalk to street. The next thing I know I'm laying in the street. I kind of vagulely remember bracing myself but I'm still perplexed as to how I fell or what I tripped on. I'm thinking the curb. This of course happens in front of an entire restaurant full of people. Everyone is staring, I think maybe one guy asked if I was ok (that's philly for ya). I jump up quickly, assure AA I'm fine and continue home. A few blocks later I notice my skirt feels wet. I don't remember a puddle being in the street so I check. Blood, blood and more blood. I seemed to have cut the hell out of my right knee, its bleeding profusely, and blood is just everwhere. Lucky for me I'm wearing a denim skirt that falls just below my knee. Its keeping blood from running down my leg. My left leg is scraped to hell but its not really bleeding. We continue on. AA is looking very worried and I am assuring him that I'm fine, checking to make sure that the blood is not running down my leg. I'm very worried about freaking out the general public.
Get home, clean myself up, (the most important thing ever is to ALWAYS have hydrogen peroxide, bandages, and triple antibiotic in your house at ALL TIMES) bandage my knee and go to bed.

Sunday: My knee and leg is alot more gnarly looking in the sun. My right knee is not just ripped to hell but its bruised too. My left leg is scraped up but not bleeding. Its very red though...which is insanely noticable on my very pale skin. I go pick up some more bandaids, peroxide, and antibiotic ointment and hed over to the bar our friend is bartending at. Yes...drinking trumps cleaning my wounds everytime! We have great conversations and eventually wander home in the heat and sun.

I'm annoyed that this seemed to happen just in time for a heatwave. I'm not embarassed by my giant gross scrapes and cuts, but they're a bit too gruesome to wear a skirt with. So I'm wearing long capris...in 91 degree heat. And it seems nearly impossible to keep a bandaid on. And....since its on my knee every movement feels tight and painful. Grumble grumble.

Only I can take a nice weekend and make it into a bloody mess.

Next post.....plans I'm ready to put into motion...

Optimism

2007-06-05T13:43:00.000-04:00

After speaking to my new life coach this weekend (i.e. Marissa) I've come to a conclusion.

Putting all my focus into how my life is making me miserable is not healthy. Sure, there's many things wrong and frustrating. And yes, having depression makes seeing the positive kind of difficult.
If I'm going to do anything with my life I need to start changing things, or at least putting myself in a positive direction. I hate doing nothing with my time and energy. I have all these great ideas and its time some of them come into fruition.

So I'm starting another business, even though my first attempt failed miserably. Which was more the fault of a product that wasn't practical being sold to a market that didn't need it. But anyway...I digress.

I'm in the very early, baby stages of planning. I have yet to even work on testing production methods. But its something I know and love and will hopefully keep my creative side occupied and maybe, eventually, bring in some much needed extra money into my home. I have such a good head for business, I feel like I'm just wasting it. And Aaron is on board to help. Heck, he even seems more excited then I do at times.

Positive directions towards what I think is an attainable goal.

It seems a bit overwhelming and scary, but I've faced much worse. And my first failed attempt didn't kill me, it just stings a little. I can survive.

And since I have no vacation planned to speak of I have nothing but time on my hands. I might as well make something.

Quick non-negative points of interest

2007-05-25T13:02:00.000-04:00

Because my whole life can't be gloom and doom, right?

- I'm now a brunette. Sure..not a big difference, unless you haven't been one for over a decade. I'm pretty happy. And its amazing how nice a persons skin looks when being paired with a hair color that is in the same color family as the one they were born with!

- I have an undying love for locally made pickles. I want to eat them with every meal.

- I kind of get a weird kick when I get unapproving looks from tourists walking through the area.

- There's something great about taking a shower after sweating all day at work.

- Bedhead hair products. Sure, I left you once, but I will never leave you again. Especially since Bumble and Bumble seems to be overpriced crap!

- Ted Leo is a hot, hot man. His music puts me in a good mood, no matter how foul I felt previously!

- Sleeping late every single day of this upcoming three day weekend.

- Free bags from work. I got not just one...but two sporty little numbers. Being the bag whore that I am this is the highlight of my freakin year!

- I love my favorite bar in the summer because it gets kind of dead. Not great for the owners, but being able to have conversations with the people around me, and getting to hang out with our friend who just also happens to be the bartender is awesome! Plus, we've met so many other really nice regulars there, I always look forward to going.

- My early summer jams....as in...music that sounds like summer 2007:
* Cold War Kids - Hang me out to dry
* Silversun Pickups - Lazy Eye
* Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - CIA, The Lost Brigade

I'm sure I'll regret this after I get a horrible sunburn and heat exhaustion but i'm actually looking forward to time outside in the sun. I have sunblock ready and sneakers worn in. Flip flops are sitting patiently by the door. I am ready for summer to start already!!

....and yes..I will be eating those words in about a week!

I really need to take pictures ones of these days..

2007-05-23T13:31:00.000-04:00

...but I need a camera first. A lofty item that just isn't in my budget right now. Every penny in my paycheck goes to bills. And the little bit left goes to groceries. I'm living tighter then tight. I feel like I'm being strangled by my debt. And my job, although satisfactory, is not cutting it pay wise.

So I'm once again on the hunt. Well, I'm always on the hunt...it never seems to end. I've never been so happy with a position that I stopped looking. And this doesn't feel right. What happened to the idea of careers or long-term positions? Everyone in my age bracket seems to jump from position to position, unhappy everywhere. What's the point of working hard if I'm going to move on within a year or two? What's the point of making friends or working overtime? I try not to think about this too much, it just seems kind of depressing and hopeless.

I'm not as obsessive about looking for work as I have been in the past because AA and I are finally in serious move mode. Its not going to happen tomorrow, but hopefully it will be sooner then later. We're just both sick of putting our lives on hold, hoping that something will change. Philadelphia and I just don't see eye to eye. Sure, I'm happy I lived here and for the friends and experiences it has offered me, but I just don't want to stay here any longer. My future is out west. Plus, I don't want to live in one city my whole adult life. I'd like to live a few places, really see what the world has to offer. And if I end up in the east, at least I know I ended up there by my own choosing.

Its funny that all this flux has made me desire the most mundane knitting. All I've been thinking about is garter stitch. I've been working on lace so much lately that I desire to go in the complete opposite direction. I want simple garter stitch...in Koigu since it seems to look the best in garter. I'm thinking of doing the Spanish Dancer shawl from Knitty, but the thought of casting on 410 stitches makes me queasy! But gosh....that pattern is what I need right now. And the hand painted Koigu-esque yarn I got at Sheep and Wool would be perfect! I guess my two sweaters will have to staisfy me right now, until I have the proper time and emotional strength to tackle that insane cast on. I would like to start a few new sweaters. Maybe actually have one done by fall!!!

Which reminds me...as soon as I have a full piggie bank I may splurge on some lovely yarn from Webs and a cardigan pattern. I've been dreaming about it for 6 months now. Since it is using one of their house yarns the price tag is amazingly modest for the quality. How could I say no to a sweater for under $100!!! But this is still a daydream. My wallet is groaning at the thought of it.

And I won't even go into my desire for day trips in such lovely weather...and how it seems like a a total impossibility.

Why does the world have to revolve around money?

I've always wanted to live in Stars Hollow...

2007-05-15T21:09:00.000-04:00

Good bye Gilmore Girls.

I miss you already.

Mother's Day

2007-05-11T14:13:00.000-04:00

First off, happy Mother's day to all women who already have children, who are with child, or who would like children someday!

Its a bittersweet holiday for me. I'm constantly bombarded by images of mother's and flowers and smiling families. Its almost overwhelming at times. I know my mom knew i loved her, and I had 29 Mother's Day to tell her this. It just doesn't seem like it was anywhere near enough.

So this Mother's Day, in honor of my mom and her undying love of everything and anything blue, everything I work on this weekend will be blue. Her eyes were the most beautiful blue, like a perfectly clear sky. And that's the color I want to see this weekend.

Blue has become my comfort color....its like a cool blanket. Every time I see it I think of her. And it seems to be the color I've been reaching for most when I'm looking for yarn. I can't get enough of it. I don't think a bad shade of blue exists! And I'm more then a little thankful that it goes with my coloring so well.

My surrogate mom...my mother-in-law....who I like to call Mom Neuman...will be visited. AA's family has definitely taken me in as one of their own, and I do feel like their daughter. I want to make his mom a beautifully intricate shawl, so I didn't want to do a quickie to be done in time for the holiday. So once I find the perfect color for her, and I'm sure i will know it when I see it, I will make her something grand.

And then there's me and the dreams I've been having about children. Well, pregnancy to be exact. I've had a few where i was very pregnant, and we lived in a big old house on a hill, and I seem to be happy all the time. I'm hoping this is a premonition of a joyful pregnancy to come.....eventually....not tomorrow. We can barely feed ourselves, let alone little ones. But children will definitely be in my future. I just don't understand an existence without them. What is the point of life then?

Here's hoping that my Mother's Day is not sad, but optimistic towards my future, and satisfying knowing that my mom, no matter where she is, knows that I love her and am happy that I'm her daughter.

Oh yarn...how could I have doubted you..

2007-05-06T22:28:00.000-04:00

All I need is a Sheep and Wool Festival and friends to pal around with in the sunshine....suddenly yarn is fun again!

I think my recent ennui concerning yarn has finally passed. I did not spend gluttoneously this year, like I have in the past, but everything I came home with has made me unbelievably happy, and I can actually see using every last yard of yarn. When my budget is microscopic it makes everything I purchase that much more special, since it really has to be something lovely to draw the cash from my pocket.

I'm sure I'll take pictures of it eventually. I'm just kind of....well....I don't like taking pictures of yarn sitting on my carpet. There...I've admitted it. I think its silly and it goes against everything being married to a photographer has taught me.

Other random tidbits about the festival:
- Animals are cute. Their 'tocks are much cuter!
- I look forward to the day when I can bring my little babies to a similar festival. Because seriously....grown women running around petting animals is cute...in a weird way....but it really seems to be more appropriate for adorable children to be doing it!
- Hand made soda tastes even better when given to me by girls made to wear ridiculous outfits showing much skin. But someone please explain this to me....if most of the festival is made up of women...who are they actually trying to attract with this marketing ploy?
- It always blows my mind how rude suburban ladies get when put in a large crowd situation. I saw a friend of mine not only get shoved, but had her arm hit out of a persons way. Seriously...wtf? If it had been me I would have been barred from ever going back.
- Even when its overcast I really should use sunblock. One day this little nugget of common sense will stick in my brain.
- Heat + dirt + early morning + constant walking = exhaustion
- Non tacky colors really do exist.....they're just harder to find
- I can find PA people everywhere.....
- People I don't know can be very nice and friendly
- Lots of people seem to like skull themed knitting tattoos.....and I do try to explain this to non knitters who always ask "cute skull...what are those sticks underneath?"
- Although I'm kind of sad that lace knitting has become such a fad, I am very happy I can find more laceweight yarns. It used to be something exotic no one ever bothered with...now everyone carries it!

I'll get into more detaisl about yarn and projects soon. I'm still kind of sleepy from this whole weekend. Plus, I have cashmere to fondle.

Sometimes I miss being medicated...

2007-05-01T14:31:00.000-04:00

...I honestly do.

There's days that being mentally ill is just an overwhelming thing. I can't think or concentrate or muster enough energy to communicate or knit. The feeling of awkwardness and sadness is really all that I can focus on. And its just a bummer.

So my communications with the outside world have been few and far between. My numerous blogs scattered around the interweb have been collecting dust. I don't even know why I'm writing this. Maybe so I feel like some little bit of junk can finally escape my brain.

Sheep and Wool is this weekend and I'm kind of underwhelmed by the whole idea. I'm not sick of it per say, but I do know the lay of the land and in the past two years nothing has been very new or exciting. I think I'm just not into yarn shopping as of late. When I have to worry about every penny going into bills and groceries my priorities change. I get more excited about getting a great fragrance or bar of soap then a skein of yarn I won't even touch for at least a year, and that's being optimistic! And the knitting population that place attracts makes me feel weird. I don't like suburban women...didn't like them when I lived there, don't like them now...so being surrounded by herds of them gives me the willies. It has every single year I've gone. Maybe I'm just happy living in the little liberal bubble the city gives me.

Hopefully I'll cheer up or get slightly excited by Friday. Hell...you never know...I may find a bag of money on the way home from work.

Did you Miss me?

2007-03-31T12:17:00.000-04:00

Yes...I am back.
Well, sort of, I still feel kind of shy and non-social-like. But I can't stay quiet forever...right?

Its just been a whole lot of frustration and hormones. When your having a troublesome time with your life it is really not the best time to ditch birth control for two months. I was broke, didn't want to use what little money I had to buy more, and I thought "hey...interesting experiment...no additional hormones for two cycles!"

I will NEVER do that again. And if I mention it to you, that I'm thinking this is a good idea again, please hit me until I change my mind. Really wallop me one.

If you have a long long history of depression and hormonal imbalance going off birth control is kind of nuts. I take it mostly for regulation of my insane reproductive cycle. I forgot how depressed and kind of crazy I get without the sweet, sweet pills to keep me in check. I forgot how Texas Chainsaw Massacre-esque my period got. I forgot about all the cramping and headaches and general terribleness. Good lord....why did I let myself forgo something so DAMN important! I'd rather go without food, water and shelter then that!

Mix this looney stew up with some frustration and unhappiness about looking for work and you get my extended absence from the outside world.

I think I even had a bit of agoraphobia sprinkled in for some flavor.

But I'm back now...I hope. Things are running a bit more smoothly. Or I'm so crazy its turned into ridiculous amounts of optimism. I'm going to start working on Monday. I'm sure this sense of hope will wear off as soon as I receive that first tiny, tiny paycheck, but for now.....YEAH!

Say hi......if anyone actually still checks this.

This Space is Available

2007-02-26T14:58:00.000-05:00

One day I will have something to say.

Promise.

1 down....a lifetime more to go!

2007-02-14T11:38:00.000-05:00

It was a year ago today that I married my absolute favorite person in the world!
Sure, we drive each other crazy on a regular basis, but there's no one I'd rather spend my lifetime with.

I heart AA!!!
foreves!

(Romantic song for the day: Tugboat - Galaxie 500)

Daydreaming

2007-02-11T13:02:00.000-05:00

I'm getting ridiculous amounts of knitting done as of late, but I'd be much happier employed.

I am hoping for large amounts of snow on Wednesday. Knitting, crazy snowfall, and my year anniversary, AND Valentine's Day. I would be very happy to lock myself at home with my husband, eat chocolate or something as sinful, watch Planet of the Apes, and knit all day long. Hopefully it will snow early and he will be trapped at home with me.
And I really do like exploring the city in the snow....no pesky cars to get in the way.

I've been daydreaming a lot lately. I'm practically obsessed with Craft's blog. Its update very often, which is great for someone with large amounts of time on their hands, and its filled will all sorts of crafty stories. I may be known for my knitting, but my love of crafts in general is where my heart lies. I like glass, and embroidery, and beading, and sewing, and stamper collecting. I get just as giggly buying felt tipped markers as I do buying yarn. I've been reading the crafster message boards since they began. I even used to post to the long defunct glitter boards (which popped up on another server, but its just not the same). I'm waiting patiently, well, more like impatiently for my new issues of Craft and Adorn to show up in the mail. (I subscribed late so it will take forever)
I'm thinking of embroidery ideas and things I'd like to embroider but I just seem to be missing bits and pieces. Maybe this week I'll drag myself to my local art store and pick up the few items I still need.

Nothing else to report. I'm still waiting for good news, especially after spending the past week horribly cold ridden. I had no idea the nose could even get that stuffed, let alone stay that way over a week. The human body is amazing and gross.

The family camera has taken a turn for the worse, so I probably won't have pictures available until I'm happily employed. Lets all hope that is soon.

New year, new you.

2007-01-08T14:39:00.000-05:00

I feel so out of the blogging loop. I have nothing but time on my hands, but zero interest in writing anything. Quite a pickle to be in.

It seems the more obsessively I work on a knitting project, the longer it takes to complete. I've been hard at work on the most mind-numbingly boring shawl, but it never seems to be finished. I'm always about 50 rows away. How can this be? I must be knitting into a black hole or something. All the work I put into it somehow manifests itself somewhere else, maybe in a parallel dimension of some kind.

And, to drive me absolutely insane, I snapped my second pair of 3 32" circs. I was heartbroken the first time. So in my grief I not only ordered a second bamboo set, but also smooth, unbreakable steel, just in case. And of course, the just in case happened sooner then I had hoped. In the middle of a dark movie theater no less. (Thankfully I had a back up project with me.) I love bamboo, but seriously...two expensive circular needles snapping in a row will make a girl change her knitting preferences.

Lessons learned:
- Only use metal needles for anything below a 5.
- Always bring a back up project to a movie.

My knitting front is a bit stalled. So, other things:
- I have my second cold of the season. Thank you general population for screwing up my week
- Children of Men is an amazing movie. I can't even use adjectives to describe it because nothing I could say would do it justice. It made me feel like I got kicked in the gut repeatedly, and I'm fine with that feeling. Go see it, go see it now.
- Rome will be premiering next week. This season is chock full of sex, violence, and death. I love ancient history.
- I think my knitter's elbow may be binging to ache. I'm not at all happy about this.
- If I'm as awesome as every temp agency in the world has told me I am, why am I not working yet?
- I have a new found obsession with football. I have watched the last 5 Eagles games voluntarily. I have found myself so into the games Aaron has begun telling me to calm down repeatedly. I nearly threw a water bottle at the television......but come on...the Eagles so should have gotten their 65 yard touchdown! They were robbed.

I'm sure there's more, but I have a feeling that my stuffed nose has pushed past my nasal cavity and into my brain. Everything seems very jumbled. Damn you cold virus!

Is it 2008 yet?

Happy Yarnful Holidays!!!

2006-12-23T11:34:00.000-05:00

How cool is this?!! Google is not only in the spirit of the holidays, but its chock-full of knitting goodness as well!!!! Quite an adorable surprise to wake up to this morning.

There have been a few things that have gotten me into the seasonal mindset recently. Knitting kangaroos on Google. Getting to see an unexpected by kind of cool menorah procession driving down Market Street last Saturday night. (Seriously...5 blocks of cars with giant menorahs on top of them. After the initial "what the hell is that" wore off I happily yelled happy Hanukkah to as many of the cars as I could. Sure, I'm a gentile, but I'm a sucker for any and all happy celebrations and holidays!)

I've seen specials about Christmas lights from across the country, I've had people be downright polite waiting in line at the post office, I've seen smiling shoppers everywhere. I can't help but get caught up in it all. Sure...not everyone seems to be filled with holiday cheer, but its nice to have a small period of time where most of the population is actually aware of people around them.

I hope you all have a yarnfully festive holiday season and a great new year!

Christmas knitting is for suckers!

2006-12-18T14:16:00.000-05:00

Ok...ok...I admit I am making one Christmas present. A hat out of Manos for my favorite bartender. He's kept me in cheap beer all year long...its the least I can do.

Everything else I have gotten for people has been store bought. And I'm damn proud!

In past years I insanely tried to make presents. Sure, they got done by Christmas morning, but they were normally rushed, damp, and hated by me by the time I gave them. They were all loved and cherished, but honestly...I like myself more then I like smiling faces. And they seem to be just as happy with a DVD or gift certificate. Sure, I didn't pour 20 hours into that DVD, but I did have to either search Amazon.com or actually go through the hassle of driving somewhere, parking, fighting my way through the electronics section, and waiting in line for that item! And since I have a serious hatred of crowds and stores, that DVD seems about ten times more impressive!

I'd like to be proud of all of the knitting feats I've accomplished this year. All the daydreams about wearing my warm shawls all winter long. Unfortunately, its about 64 degrees outside, so even contemplating wearing something made of alpaca makes my temples moisten.

I'm happy that Christmas is a week away. Because, damn, do I need sometime away from holiday crap. I look forward to a trip to the super market that doesn't involve Christmas carols. Then I can focus on important things.....like drinking my self silly to ring in the New Year.

And....as I've said a million times over....pictures to come soon!

When exactly is the point of no return..

2006-11-30T14:16:00.000-05:00

Before I get into my tale of woe....quick positive update!

My Anne fall leaf lace shawl is done and blocked. Its is lovely and just the right size. I would put in a snazzy photo, if I had one. (If you had not guessed...I'm relatively lazy about taking pictures of my knitting. Maybe its because I don't own the camera I normally use) I plan on wearing it over the weekend, since the temperature may actually be closer to holiday weather then it has been (not that I'm complaining...no heater in use means no heating bill)

But..everything is not blocking and finished and happy. Oh no. I have a current project that will soon be a flaming car wreck on needles.
I have had two skeins of Anne waiting to be a Baltic sea stole for years. Its been on my "to-do" que for ages. So I finally buckle down and begin. The pattern calls for sport weight yarn, 900 yards, size 8 needle. I tried this equation with my lovely deep blue Anne. It was nice, but much too open for my liking, especially since I plan on using this for warmth. So I drop the needle size down two sizes and add 4 extra repeats to make up for the small width this change in size would cause. I have 1095 yards at my disposal. I thought, in a complete fit of insanity, that this would be enough. Hell, I'm 100 yards over what they call for and they never actually use the totals they quote....what could go wrong?

I'm only about three inches in and my first skein is a quarter gone. In the back of my head I know I do not have anywhere near enough yarn to do this. So when exactly do I give up and claim defeat? I'm delusional....I continue to knit thinking that yarn will magically appear and everything will be fine. Because that is what happens, right?

The ironic thing...I'm normally the most conservative knitter. If I feel that my yarn will not meet requirements, especially when yardage is concerned I rip out early. I have a good feeling for when things are going badly and normally do not have a problem with scraping an entire project for something else. But this time.....this time its different. I just refuse to admit this will not work. After casting on a dozen times, trying three different size of needles, carrying around the pattern and the yarn in my knitting bag for ages.....I just can't let it go without a fight!

....If someone would like to sneak into my house and hide this project from me before the swearing starts I will forever be grateful....

I'm an omen

2006-11-17T18:03:00.000-05:00

...Total creepy kind of omen..

If you see me employed at a company run the other way. It means something bad will happen.

I was laid off an hour ago. The company I was working for had to lay off both of their employees. It seems the ship was sinking way faster then anyone had expected. So...I'm now unemployed, more then a bit freaked out about my bills, and hoping to god that something shows up soon. Christmas may have to be canceled this year.

And because I have impeccable timing, I still have presents being delivered to my old place of business. I can pick them up, but unfortunately they will be closed most of next week. Thank goodness I needed everything being shipped right away. This situation is making me especially tense. I also am having a problem with one of my orders...it seems they may have not shipped everything I had requested....again....tension. I'm going to obsess about it until tomorrow morning.

The only ray of light shining through all of this gloom?
I have all this time for knitting now!
...and knitted items will be nice...since paying my gas bill will need a miracle from god.

Hopefully something more cheerful later. I'm just so bummed right now.

RIP Jack Palance

2006-11-10T20:29:00.000-05:00

This is the second most sad death of the year. I nearly cried when I heard it.
I love...well...loved this man! Being the nerdy person I am I grew up enamoured with Ripley's Believe it or Not. (and I cannot speak to you if you are too young to remember this amazing show!)
And his stint as Dracula....freakin awesome!
I always had a major crush on him!

Although...of his recent performances...my favorite was definately the horny artist in Bagdad Cafe.

He will be sadly missed.
I feel like some part of my childhood is now gone.

You left me in Stitches!

2006-11-06T13:05:00.000-05:00

Heaven is obscene amounts of yarn.
Yarn from floor to ceiling.

I either seemed to be underwhelmed or overwhelmed at big knitting events. This years Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival left me wanting more. I didn't see enough to really make my head spin.

I went to Stitches East in Baltimore this past weekend. Even though it didn't leave me with the feeling of amazement it left me with the first time I attended one, I was impressed overall. I think the highlight for me was finally getting my hands on a Lexie Barnes bag. I have been in desperate need of something in the Hermosa pattern for ages and ages. (black and white skull motif. It kind of looks like a cross between Day of the Dead sugar skulls and a doilie) I didn't just get a giant knitting bag (it was discounted because the pattern was printed upside down, it doesn't even look that odd even with the mistake!) But I also purchased three discounted project bags. I bought one for actual projects, one for paperback books (I hate ruining books in the bottom of my bag) and the third as a small makeup bag. I look like a walking advertisement for her company, and I love it! There is no one nicer who I would like to support with my purchases. I was able to speak to Lexie at length and look forward to one day going to see her showroom.

For the past year I've definately been burned out on the whole knitting scene. Besides knitting with those girls I'm close to (and you know who you are) I could have just cared less about everything else having to do with knitting. Even yarn didn't have the same appeal for me. But a magical thing happened at Stitches. I actually met like-minded people. I met company and store owners who were actually.....gasp....NICE! They liked talking to me, not because I spent $100's of dollars on their merchandise, but because we had similar ideals and they were actually NICE! (I need to say it twice because i'm so shocked) It gave me a new enthusiasm about knitting that I had not had in awhile. Not everywhere is Philly. New England, Upstate NY, Oregon, places chock full of nice laid back people. and lordy lordy....do they know their fiber!

And since i'm sure everyone wants to see what I actually got, pictures will come soon. I PROMISE! you can beat me with a stick if I forget again!

(well....i don't do it mainly because of laziness....not really because of memory)

i really need to get rid of this need for work so I can use as much time as possbile on my projects! up with knitting, down with work!

Fake Meat is better then knitting!

2006-11-01T12:41:00.000-05:00

Wait....did I get your attention?

I know...i speak blasphemous things. Fake meat, although very good indeed, is not better then knitting. It does, however, make me unspeakablely happy. And one item in particular is making my taste buds sing!

Fake roast beef. Fake freakin roast beef!!! With mayo and cheese on a sandwich is heavenly. It is produced by our new favorite company of vegetarian delights Yves! And supposedly the roast beef is only available in Canada. But magically, like an act of god, it appears weekly in our local Shop Rite. If it ever does disappear I will move to Canada immediately to live as close as possible to this heavenly food.

Other then obsessing over my sandwich for lunch, everything has been non-knitting. October sucks up an obscene amount of time, but oddly enough at the end I never feel like I accomplished anything. I did all the festive Halloween things I wanted to do, but it never seems like enough. I immediately start planning for next years lunacy. And Halloween always seems like a quiet little gasp at the end. I usually stay in, watch the same movies and specials I watch every year, and fall asleep at a reasonable time.
I think trick or treating should be available for adults. Especially those of us who don't want to wake up with a hang over the next day. A slight sugar headache sounds like a much easier way of dealing with past festivites.

The future: Stitches East is this weekend. I'll be attending on Friday, since every booth seems to be sold out before Saturday. I have a pitiful amount of money I can spend, so I will have to be on my best behavior. Thankfully i feel very blase about yarn and knitting right now. I mean, I like working on my current projects, but i'm not in that frenzied state of mind that could get me into trouble at such an event. I think its because I'm not yet fully aware that Novemeber is here. I can see it on my calendar on my watch, but my brain is still in some sort of weird denail over the whole thing.

Oh...and I haven't finished CRAP in weeks. My projects seem to be moving along like iceburgs, and I'm lucky if i get two gigantic rows in a night.
Tiny knitting seemed to go a lot faster when I actually had time to devote to it!

If you see me at Stitches please say hi. I have chin length reddish hair, a bag that says "will knit for tattoos", and a surly expression on most of the time. I'm a kitten though...no that much surliness. Although, my friends could tell you, please do not get between me and Schaefer yarns Anne.....it could get ugly!

...god that was a good sandwich...

Happy Freakin Birthday.

2006-10-29T09:28:00.002-05:00

I'm officially 30.

3-freakin-0.

I'm old.

Happy one-day-closer-to-my-demise to me!

My best gift?
.....not a wrinkle in sight!

....can't say the same for the gray hairs though....

I think i'm going to go live in a cave until I'm 40....and I'm still not sure if i'll even come out then!

Anniversary

2006-10-25T09:33:00.000-04:00

It was a year ago today that my mom died.

I got the call at 10pm. My dad had called me earlier in the day to tell me she had been hospitalized, a normal occurrence by then. She was stable and sleeping, so I was holding off going home until the next day, when I was more awake and less hysterical. Then I got the call. A medication she was on, I believe it was to raise her very low blood pressure, caused her heart to stop. They resuscitated her, but it was too late, she already had massive brain damage. They let her pass away.

I didn't get to speak or see her the day she died.
(when I had called that morning she was sleeping)

She was my favorite person in the world. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her.

My boss is very understanding. She gave me the day off. I had every intention of being a productive citizen today, but half way through the morning I started crying and couldn't stop. Its like waves of pain. Whenever a crying fit subsides another one starts.

I just can't believe its been a year. I can't believe I haven't hugged or spoken to my mom in a year. Its just overwhelming.

I hope she's happy wherever she is. And I hope I can make her proud one day.

I just really miss her.

Holy moley!

2006-10-18T13:56:00.000-04:00

Wait, how is it already the middle of October?!
I swear, this month has flown by.

I know, I know, I keep promising completed projects, and pictures of those completed projects. But honestly, my knitting has trickled down to a steady stream of droplets. I only have time for 2 hours of knitting a night if I'm lucky. (I'm sure to some of you that may sound like a lot, but I assure you its not) Who knew having a social life would cut into so much damned knitting time!

I did get some new and lovely Black Bunny Yarn! A beautiful laceweight in yellows/browns/ and shades of honey. I'm trying to break out of my obsession with orange. I have too much orange on the backburner. I needed something more mellow. And it reminded me of wheat fields and corn mazes and the color of trees and leaves at the end of autumn. When everything is quiet and brown and the light seems to always be barely over the horizon.

And it will blend so nicely with my musical choices as of late. I listen to cds all day long at work, so I've been tearing through them much faster then I normally do. On heavy rotation right now is: Nina Nastasia, Godspeed You Black Emperor, Mono, Bonnie Prince Billy, and Low. I must come off as this insanely mellow person because everything I listen to seems slower and quiet.
(anyone who's ever met me knows this is SO not the case!)

I have grand plans to finish my Feather and Fan shawl that was recently restarted. Finish my Half-Pi shawl that was also recently restarted. Finish my Koigu cardigan. Finish my leaf lace shawl. And perhaps finally start my Baltic sea stole, and maybe, if it looks as nice in the magazine as it does in the online picture, start the square stole in the upcoming Interweave.
My work is very chilly most days, so having lost of warm shawls will actually come in handy.

Fancy that....actually using the knitted items I make!
Wonders will never cease!

I'm a horrible blogger...

2006-10-09T12:59:00.000-04:00

...completely terrible.
I keep promising pictures and knitting stories and I'm just too lazy and/or tired to deliver.
But this time I do have a good excuse. I did drive 5 hours home from Virginia last night, and this was after I was already tired and exhausted.

I have never been so excited to have work canceled in my life!

But. I did finish my scarf. And I did see sheep on my trip. So that's fiberly, right? Although, for as many sheep the historical settlement had they had zero yarn. Isn't that a total let down?
The nerve of those people...using sheep as cute little ornaments. Hrm!

I didn't get any knitting done. I was far too preoccupied with glaring at the rain. We had a three day trip planned, it rained for two of the three days. Wouldn't you glare out your window too?

I'm just rambling. Very tired. Something more substantial soon.
With pictures!!!!

...watch this space....

2006-10-01T21:20:00.000-04:00

Just a quick note. I've been trying to be a good blogger, really I am. I have grand ideas for blogs in my head, I just never seem to have the energy to sit down and move it from my head to my computer.

And...well...I just haven't been up for talking lately. I've had a lot on my mind. Between my upcoming 30th birthday, my lack of any self-confidence, and the sadness over the year anniversary of my mom's death, I've just felt like saying very little. I'll probably go into everything more indepth later.

Today I just feel like saying nothing about everything.

I'm almost done a scarf, so knitting talk will come soon as well.

It can't be all doom and gloom you know.

Well....at least its finally October 1st. Its my favorite month, but its also become my saddest month all at once. Kind of weird how everything works out.

Another reason to hate Philadelphia

2006-09-25T19:06:00.000-04:00

Philadelphia has followed other cities like NY and LA and passed a smoking ban.

In a city with an escalating crime rate, a ridiculous wage tax, and non-existent funding of major services....this is of course highest priority to the powers that be.

I do admit, I enjoy smoking while drinking. It is what the dive bar is designed for. So I will miss having the freedom to do so. But I'm more angry at the fact that so many problems that need addressing have been pushed to the back burner for something so frivilous! Why aren't more people outraged?!!??!!

This city is so backwards. I honestly do not understand how people voluntarily stay here. We are sticking around long enough to get a big chunk of debt paid, then we are out of here. I could never be happy in such a corrupt, hostile, and dirty city. And the thought of raising a child here seems ridiculous.

I don't know...this has nothing to do with knitting. But its whats buzzing around my head today. I'm just so bothered by the whole thing. There's not enough ambulances....but god forbid someone smoke in a bar. Bah. And I'm going to punch the next person who says its great......its not great. Its sad.....its sad that an owner of a drinking establishment can't decide whether they will let smoking be allowed in their establishment. I hate the thought of the government baby sitting its citizens.

....Because you know it won't just stop at smoking....

Something Wicked This Way Comes..

2006-09-20T20:48:00.000-04:00

I am a magazine whore.

I subscribe to 4 knitting magazines...I think...I can't remember.
I subscribe to 3 lady dominated magazines of the punk-ass variety.
I subscribe to 1 political/punk music magazine.
I subscribe to 1 Regional Urban legend filled mag.

....and this was after I cut back.

And what lovely magazines did I trek all the way to Border's to purchase? Why...Martha Stewart living and Better Homes and Gardens of course! But these are not your average issues mind you...they are CHOCK FULL OF HALLOWEEN! Its like crafters porn. I breathe heavy at the mere thought of jack o' lanterns and squash filled foods. Heck, even the picture perfect atumn shots make my head spin.

And please...I will not even get started on my constant and obsessive fondling of Halloween goods in local retailors.....this is a family friendly holiday.

October 1st is two weeks a way....two long agonizing weeks. But when its here it seems to flicker out so quickly.

But back to my purchases. I was highly impressed with the Better Homes and Gardens issue. Great article on antique Halloween collecting. And the Halloween items that are featured in the issue are well done. Martha on the other hand was medicore. Still lovely and oh so New England, but overall crammed with too much other information. I wish they would go back to producing two issues for October. One issue dedicated only to Halloween, the other to basic autumness. If anyone ever comes across her greatness on the street please tell her we want Halloween back damnit!

Mmm....Martha.....I love your hanging spiders....ooohhh...

Busy Little Bee

2006-09-15T22:02:00.000-04:00

Why do I seem to forget what font I used to type previous journal entries everytime I type a new one?

I'm a wee bit obsessive about fonts...I get crazed if two items on the same page don't match. I'm a little bit weird that way.

Man, work is just sucking up my time. Who knew having a full time job could be so time consuming! I'm hoping to have some quality time with my knitting this weekend. In a complete crazed moment I ripped out the first shawl I ever did. Mind you, it was completely finished, all ends were long since woven in, it has been previously blocked and worn quite a few times. Why did I succomb to the insanity? My bind off was way too tight, so it was making the entire shawl too small. I liked the color so much that I couldn't bare not to wear it. So...the whole thing is scrapped. As soon as I'm done my oak leaf scarf it will be worked on.
(it would be started already but I'm out of row counters...I mean...I ONLY have 6 of them)

I think my next post will be a bit more jazzy....some photos...some action shots. Its going to be super awesome terrific!

And on a completely unrelated note. I have recently purchased cosmetics. I went completely insane....if it was a fall limited edition kind of thing I now own it! Two Stila fall eye shadow palettes, 4 limited edition fall scented/colored lip balms....Cargo limited edition eye shadow and lip gloss palette. I'm just insane. If it was nearly bronze/gold/khaki/orange/spice I have it in my greedy little hands. I stare at them everyday.....my precious....if only it was cool enough outside to wear you.

I may post again soon. Since I'm so much more productive about things like this on the weekend then I am during the week.

Should I even start a new sweater if I already have two on needles? They are tiny needles, and something quicker would sure be swell. (although I have quite enough yarn...unfortunately not in the gauge I need for this specific sweater)

Decisions...decisions...please tell me I don't need more yarn....no matter how cheap it is!

Free Dog!

I'm so upset about the whole Duane "Dog" Chapman thing! I won't even go into it because I find the whole thing infuriating! How can a man who has helped so many get arrested for something so stupid! Bah! There's many many more people more deserving of a jail sentence then Dog, Leeland and Tim!

Free Dog!!!

cough cough

2006-09-12T23:29:00.000-04:00

I'm ill and it's all my husbands fault.

Please kick him in the shin if you see him walking down the street.

Wait...I'm supposed to be talking about knitting. Hmm...I started an oak leaf scarf from Fibertrends in a very autumnal skein of Anne. I have many autumn outings planned to wear it to, plus it will match my newly purchased brown hoodie and sneakers.

Because everyone knows that brown is the new black....or it could be that brown is the new brown. I don't really care either way, because I'm going to look chocolate fantastic all fall!

I really don't have anything impressive or mind-altering to say. I'm in my first week of a new job. Its weird to go from sitting at home watching the Travel channel and knitting all day to sitting in an office, listening to cds and typing all day. I'm still trying to fit all 8 million things I'd like to get accomplished every day in to my little 8 hours at home before I sleep. I was so happy to actually be getting my knitting projects done, or at least big impressive chunks done. Now I'm back to dribbles. Its sad. My dreams of an all knitted October are not going to come true.

Through the looking glass

2006-09-08T15:22:00.000-04:00

I finall did it. I finally started an "official" blog. I mean, I have two....they're just on sites that don't have blogging as their specific purpose.

So here I am. I'd like to pretend this is going to be about knitting and the like, but it probably won't, since I like about a million other things almost as much (I said almost....)

Please leave me comments telling me I'm an idiot for starting another thing to suck up all of my time.

Real post to come soon...